Let Go and Move On

Let go of old belief systems. You know, the things ingrained in your brain that hold you back or pin you down. You know what I’m talking about. It might be a family superstition, a religious dogma, an expectation or opinion of you, or a statement made against you. This could be a past humiliation, something that binds you in shame or guilt or causes you a lack of confidence. Many of these boulders of principle date back to our childhoods. Yes, I call them boulders because they weigh so much on our emotional bodies that we are unable to move our physical and intellectual bodies to start the work we need to do. When you can move this block in your mind you enter the wonderful world of emotional and spiritual freedom.

Honor what is true. How do you know what is right? First of all, the ego lies. When we choose to do the right thing it usually resonates in either our heart or gut, sometimes both. The guidance of prayer or meditation helps pave the way, not what someone else tells you is best for you. The answers will come, but you must be willing to listen to spirit.

Clip those wings and fly!

The Stillness Factor

In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in an clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness.  Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.  ~Mahatma Gandhi

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Have you ever noticed wisdom enters by the way of silence?

A Knowing of the soul occurs.

Mysteries are explained, problems solved, and creative urges born.

Answers wait in silence. As I learn to listen and decipher, I hear more than I ever did with my ears.

Have you ever experienced an epiphany?

These sudden realizations come to me after times of deep contemplation or sleep. These understandings even make appearances in my dreams.

Insights aren’t always clear cut. They can arrive in bits and pieces, like puzzles I must ponder to see how I fit into the equation.

If I enter a quiet time so focused on finding an answer my mind fills with chatter. When I empty my mind, I rise refreshed and observant. A simple switch in perspective is often what I need.

Refraining from speaking has been a lifelong challenge for me. I’m finding more and more how good silence is for my soul.

The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others. ~Solomon Ibn Gabriol

Why Questioning is a Matter of Life

“He explained to me with great insistence that every question possessed a power that did not lie in the answer.”  ― Elie Wiesel, Night

IMG_5571Without query, there is no growth in life. This is how we grow spiritually. Questioning promotes learning and production. Curiosity and desire fuel creativity. Creativity leads us to our soul’s purpose. This drive within us is authentically our own. No one else has this exact design. Even if they ask the same questions of themselves, their imprint will send an answer uniquely theirs.

Questioning our desires and motives teaches us about ourselves. We not only find what we like and dislike, but we come to experience the very state of our existence. The issues that bog us down tell us who we are, what we fear, and why we’re holding back. The matters which soften our hearts introduce us to our gifts and help us to lead with love.

When we become comfortable to piddle within our own confines we lose sight of who we are meant to become. As we are shaped internally we come to know a new satisfaction, an inner peace one finds when traveling the path only he can meander.

Question yourself. Question those around you. Question life.

Listen. Learn. Grow.

When Silence Is Awkward

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One of the nicest things about being in the company of those you love is the feeling of comfort, the absence of the ever so awkward silence. Not to say we must be talking nonstop but when the conversation hits a lull there is no need to scramble for something to say.

Have you ever been in a group of people or on the phone and all is quiet? You suddenly feel anxious. You’re frantically searching for a topic to talk about or hoping the other person will say something, and quickly. In those cases, the weather usually enters the conversation.

I love it when I’m around people for the first time and the talk bounces back and forth and topics come and go. Some speak. Some listen. And it’s interesting. No one is ever bored. Of course, this doesn’t happen all the time, but when it does you feel like you belong.

It’s true…some people are talkers and others are listeners. It’s a wonderful friend who learns to do both. It’s no secret I’m a talker. I’m becoming a better listener.

Back to the awkward silences…when it happens do you wonder if you’d said something wrong? Or are you quiet because they’ve said something wrong and you’re at a loss for words? Do you simply think you have nothing in common with those people and are looking for a quick escape? I’m sure all of these have happened to most of us.

One of the most awkward silences is when someone says something not so nice about someone you have ties to and you let them know you affiliation…talk about being able to hear a pin drop! Has that ever happened to you? It has happened to me. I’ve also been the one who has opened mouth and inserted foot!

It’s interesting how quickly you bond with certain people. And then there are times you aren’t sure you even like them and then you meet them again later in life and find out how much you have in common.

I think one of the greatest gifts of relationship is when you say absolutely nothing in a situation and the other person knows exactly what you’re thinking. I have this with my husband, my sister, and one of my all-time best friends, and we can do it over the phone…now, that is awesome.

We each need our quiet times. We need others to respect those times, and we need to be respectful for others needs as well. It’s a wonderful feeling to be around people with whom I can talk or take comfort in the silence.

Life is too short to spend time feeling awkward and grasping for words. Today I will speak when inclined, bask in the silence when the need arises, and be comfortable with the people I associate. How about you?

Upon A Drift In Time

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.” ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

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Perhaps to some it appears I have withdrawn from society. Perhaps to a degree I temporarily have. I have retreated to the quiet zone, to a place of listening. I have entered sacred territory, the heart of relationship. Living in relationship has nothing to do with being thrust into the midst of the world.

As you know, there is no right or wrong way to do this. Some meditate. Some pray. Others create art, listen to music, read, dance, or walk in nature. We absorb ourselves where we are led. We do what feeds us. I’m doing a bit of it all as I am called. We all need times of quiet solitude.

I am not absent…I am reentering the flow…

Responding From The Heart

We often only halfway listen to those around us.

We think we excel at multitasking, but ultimately someone suffers because they have not received our undivided attention.

We mix things up. Or we think we know what they mean.

When we assume rather than ask questions, we proceed to take the task at hand to a new level which is probably where no one intended on going in the first place.

We take what is not about us and make it all about us.

We take other people’s experiences and throw ourselves into the equation.

While we might be affected by their actions, it seldom has little if anything to do with us.

On the rare occasion it is about us, we put ourselves center stage rather than in a minor role. What others say and do tells more about them than us. Our response says everything about us.

Why do we allow others that kind of power over us? Are we too insecure to trust our own instincts?

We have the power to keep their business about them by not responding or reacting.

No immediate reaction is usually the best policy.  A good rule is to breathe deeply before responding in word or action. Give yourself time to think. Step away if you must.

This attitude keeps things where they belong and in perspective. Those that judge us as uncaring for not reacting are still saying more about themselves than us.

We have the option of being part of the problem or part of the solution.

We have nothing to prove to anyone but ourselves. What does your heart say?

We should not choose our responses to impress upon others but to be true to ourselves while also keeping a clear perspective.

While others should not guilt, shame, bully, or intimidate us into seeing things their way, we should not operate with a personal agenda either.

We need to listen clearly. Trust what we are hearing. Act in accordance.

If we are driven by need, desire, or retaliation, it will be obvious in our response.

If they are driven by those same things, their reaction to our response will tell the truth.

When we take the time to communicate from a place of love and understanding, we can always find mutual ground.

Look, listen, love…you can do it!

Living in the Gap

April 17, 2012 –  Squirrel Stealing Birdseed

I see fluttering about the bird feeder we’d just set up. I am all excited as I think the birds have discovered it. I get closer to see a squirrel has looped his tail around the steel rod and is handing upside down shaking the feeder with all he’s got!

He drops to the base and fills his mouth with seed and lifts himself himself atop the wire to enjoy his snack. Who knew squirrels were such high wire acrobats?

He decides to get a closer inspection to see if there is any way he can eat directly from the holes rather than having to work up sweat for his meal. He goes back to shaking, shimmying, and swinging the feeder. From a distance I watch his determination pay off a little at a time.

Living in the Gap

April 18, 2012 – Designer Dress in the Sky

A jet rips across the morning sky, tearing a powdered streak into the periwinkle blue. Another follows below the line and then one above it. The sky becomes a striped blue spring dress. Contrails expand, soften, and fade into the blue much like patterned fabric after many washings.

Laws Of Magnetism

We attract what we emit.

What we give is what we are returned.

Do all you do in the name of love and you will be blessed with love.

Deal in honesty. Others will trust you and be open with you.

Show others you care and they will care for you.

Express an attitude of gratitude. Grace will follow.

Be forgiving. Others will extend mercy to you.

Trust others enough to extend opportunities to them and the same will come to you.

Teach your talents to those willing to learn and listen to those willing to teach you. It will all come full circle.

Accept others as they are without forcing your opinions on them. They will accept and respect you as you are.

Be kind and gentle. Those of the same disposition will find their way to you.

Be giving. Help others. When the need arises, others will be there for you.

Be responsible and accountable. People will depend on you, but they will also hold themselves liable to their actions.

Look for the good in those you meet. They will also see the good in you.

Always do your best. Those around you will expend their best efforts as well.

Peace comes to those who live their lives in harmony with others.

Living in the Gap

March 21, 2012

Darkness is thick in the air, but that doesn’t keep the birds from rising. The cardinal sings and waits a few seconds and slips into another song. He must not impress the female because he tries three more tunes. Other birds are tweeting, twittering and jabbering away. I wonder which bird was early enough to get the worm. I watch the dark roll out as light takes over. A mist so deep it appears as a metallic sheet rises through the trees blocking the sun. Robins make their own sunshine as they flutter to and from the cedar crooning the morning into view.

Seeking Understanding

All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. ~Galileo Galilei

We all seek to gain understanding.

We want to be understood; to be seen for who we are.

We want to know what makes others tick, but when we find out are we accepting?

We must learn to listen with our ears and look with our eyes; yet we must hear and see with our hearts.

Complete logic is not the key, nor is total empathy; it’s all in the balance of senses and an agreement within our bodies, minds, and spirits. Often intuition tells us exactly what we need to know.

We need to open our hearts to others and allow our own hearts to speak.

Look for clarity. Never assume anything. We need to ask questions and wait as long as it takes to get the answers. We can’t only search around but must be willing to search within. Usually, we hold the answers to the questions we ask. If it doesn’t come right away, we must be willing to keep trying. It will come to us in time.

We can end the confusion if we train ourselves to be precise; say what we mean and mean what we say. When our actions and words match, we’ve achieved this.

When we believe in ourselves we open ourselves to trust in others.

Remember that caring does not mean we understand. We must know the difference between sympathy and empathy.

Above all we must recognize our own motives if we want to truly see others agendas for what they are. While we don’t always want to know or accept the truth, honesty is the beginning of understanding.

The reality of the other person is not in what he reveals to you, but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather what he does not say. ~Kahlil Gibran

Living in the Gap

February 13, 2012 – Dust Bunnies

Amazing how quickly dust accumulates under the bed if you haven’t vacuumed beneath it for awhile. Swoosh. Swoosh. The vacuum eats the dust bunnies, with the exception of the few that make it to my nose; and aaaachoooooo…they multiply into many more dust bunnies! They tuck themselves beneath shoes, behind books, under and on top of furniture, and along the mirror and picture frames. Sad thing is, they’ll probably all be back tomorrow! They are quite good at hide and seek as well! The vacuum and ceiling fan are trying to see which can be louder. I know I need to wipe the blades of the fan, but the last time I did it and went to turn it off I accidentally turned the speed up and dust flew all over  the room…I decide not to chance having to wipe everything I just cleaned. So those dust bunnies get to stay.

They’re Trying To Drive Me Insane!

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Pet peeves. Yeah, I got a lot of them.

Pet peeves, what a nice word to use.

You see in my house I’m the one who complains. But THEY prefer to call  it bitching. Well, you know what when you live in a house with an overload of testosterone, it gives a female a license to complain. So with one grown man and two twentyish year old male college students who THINK they’re grown, they give me lots to bitch about!

First of all, it’s the toilets. No, it’s not their aim. And while on occasion, the lid is left up and I fall in the bowl of water in the middle of the night…that still is not my main peeve. You know there is a little handle on the upper left side of the tank. It is for flushing!!!!!! God forbid if I fall into the bowl of water in the midst of a groggy -eyed, sleep- induced coma, cuz the whole house is gonna wake up with that earthquake. It will be my mission!

And while I’m in the bathroom here, would it kill you guys to wipe out all those whiskers left in the sink after you shave? All you have to do is rinse it out!

Then there are the balled up halfway inside-out socks in the hampers. No, I really, truly don’t want to stick my hands in those stenchy hardened things that used to house your stinky sweaty feet. Maybe, I shall start washing them that way and just dump them on your beds when finished and let you pull them apart to see if they are clean. Because obviously, asking you guys ever so sweetly to pull them right side out before putting them in the hamper has not worked.

Now, onto the kitchen cabinets. There are doors on them for a reason. Shut them when you are finished. If they were meant to be open, the cabinets would be doorless. And also, contrary to popular belief, they do not close themselves or talk. That is me following behind you slamming them and yelling obscenities!

And speaking of hearing me and yelling obscenities, how come no one ever answers me?! But if I ask a question, you all expect me to answer immediately. How dare me play your games!

And when I want something done, I admit I want it done yesterday…so I end up doing it myself. But if you want my assistance, I am expected to drop whatever it is I am doing to help you right that very second! Why can’t life be a two way street in our house instead of the guys verses the WOMAN FROM HELL?!

No, really I love my guys. I truly enjoy being the only woman in the house and being needed. I guess that want me to feel needed often and appreciated less.

Just a thought here, if I am this mean talking about how the people I love most in the world irk me…you don’t even want to get me started on the idiotic things total stranger do to annoy me!