Where The Flow Leads

“May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Crabtree Falls


We often attempt to control people, especially as a parent we tend to try to control our children’s choices. It’s understandable to want to teach them morals and manners, but sometimes we try to sway their college choices and even decide careers for them. The art of letting go and allowing our offspring to lead their own lives can be both painful and joyous.

When we see our children in the flow of life it is liberating and beautiful. Sometimes it is only in looking back we see synchronicity working in their lives. My youngest son is an example of this. You all may remember my talking about trying to sway his choices a few years back…it only now I see his selections put him where he is supposed to be.

He originally chose a college about four hours from where we live while we had hoped he’d go to a private school near home. It ended up he didn’t like college, and played with the idea of joining the Army. Don’t ask me why, perhaps it was a parenting thing, but I just didn’t feel a military career was up his alley. Then again, maybe it had something to do with his best friend trying to get him to join with him rather than it being a dream of his own. I prayed and prayed he wouldn’t enlist. On day three after the announcement of his plans, he tore his MCL and ACL playing football, not exactly what I’d planned to thwart his efforts; but none the less he had to have surgery and much recovery time which changed his plans.

A couple of years after the knee injury, he met a girl attending the private college I’d wanted him to attend.  Sounds as if he was meant to meet her. They have now been dating for three years. During this time, my son has had a steady job but decided he wanted to become a master electrician. He was just admitted to a program about a thousand miles away. It is near where his girlfriend’s family lives. My son’s program is five years long, and it will take his girlfriend five years to obtain her MFA and Doctorate. Today, the hubby is helping them travel across several states to settle in to pursue their dreams together.

There were many bits and pieces of the process of them getting to this point, but it seems it has all fallen into place. That happens when you are in the flow.

This teaches me to sit back and watch, rather than trying to guide my children to my desired outcome. God knows much better than me where they need to be and when. It’s freeing not to try to be in control.

Though my youngest hasn’t lived at home for several years, it’s still difficult to let go. We gave our children roots, and it’s time to let them use their wings to fly where life takes them.


29 thoughts on “Where The Flow Leads

    • It sure is. Seems like I’ve done it several times in various circumstances with bot children. I think letting go is more or less trusting them to make their own decisions without interfering, sometimes it sure is hard though.

  1. Isn’t it a difficult choice? One needs to let them find their wings, but often it can be seen that guidance is still needed as to where it is too unsafe to try and fly. On the other side of that coin is when one needs to give the push that will force them to stretch those wings.

    • The hardest thing is to allow the people we love to make mistakes, but it is how they learn and grow. Growth is a beautiful thing, and often it takes time. Trusting life will flow as supposed can be difficult for those with control issues…I’m so much better at this than I used to be lol!

  2. This is an excellent example of “letting go” and allowing others to follow their own path. Thanks for sharing, Suzi.

    Hope the transition is a smooth move for all concerned.

  3. Suzi, what an awesome story that the perfectly exemplifies letting go and going with the flow! It has taken me many, many years to do this myself, but I have seen through so many experiences that there is a Higher harmony going on for me, and that if I just ‘tune’ into it, I will be guided for the Highest good.

    “Though my youngest hasn’t lived at home for several years, it’s still difficult to let go.”

    Yes, even though I am not a parent, I know it would be difficult for me as well.

    Great post, my friend. And thank you for sharing this reminder.


    P.S. And please tell Dirtman I said, FAAAAAAAAABUOUS photograph of the waterfalls. It’s STUNNING. BRAVO, Dirtman!!!!!

  4. As a “child” whose parents tended to be control-freaks, I fully “get” this post, Suzi. Parents find it hard to let go, but honestly, who wants the responsibility (or blame) when things don’t go according to their plan? God, after all, has our kids in His loving hands, and He knows best.
    I hope the move for your son and his girlfriend works swimmingly, that their move is successful, and that the best of life comes their way!

  5. I’m glad things are working out for him, even thought the path to get here was unexpected. Letting go is hard… first thing I need to let go of is the idea that I always know what’s best for them 🙂

    • I still don’t always agree with their choices, but I respect their right to make them and learn and grow from them…after all, that’s what life’s about.

  6. Sounds like everything is *flowing* smoothly. But, I caution you…that nice, even flow may turn into raging rapids before you know it. And then it’s almost impossible to sit back and watch. I wish them all the best whatever their path is. I’m sure we could talk for hours on this.

    • There will always be rapids in the river of life. As most parents, we do what we can but we have to allow them room to make choices and or mistakes just as we did.

  7. Pingback: The Extrapolation Temptation | Spirit Lights The Way

  8. Holding on and letting go – I struggle with this daily. Each time it’s hard almost as if I’ve never done it before. Wishing your son and his girlfriend much success, Susan.

  9. I’m praying my sons’ roots are deep enough. They are both venturing out and dabbling. Looking forward to seeing the amazing trees they’ll become. Best wishes to you and your family.

  10. I am with you, you just have to stand back and watch it all happen, and hope that all you have said and done will help shape their own lives, not the life you wish they led.

    Hope the travels were safe!

    • Yep, just got to let it flow on its own. The good news is he absolutely loves his job…never heard him talk with such enthusiasm about his career before!

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