Growing A Better World, One Seed At A TIme

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.  ~Josh Billings

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We traveled out of town this weekend to attend a memorial service for my aunt. We packed an air mattress and stayed at my husband’s childhood home which is now empty and up for sale. While it would be obvious memories would bounce at us from every wall what was unusual was the thumping on the windows that woke us up every morning about six thirty. It turns out this noise was an eastern blue bird who kept diving into the windows. I thought it was crazy until my husband explained what he  was doing. He could see his image in the window glass and thought he was fighting off a rival! Anyway, I’m going to get back to this bird in a bit…that is after I go on a slight rant, sorry.

We had a lovely time visiting with family and friends at this memorial. I had an interesting thing happen…a mentally disabled man I hadn’t seen in well over thirty years knew me by name the instant he saw me while two uncles I’ve seen in the past year had no idea who I was. The brain is a complex organ. I’m going somewhere with this so be patient with me. (I’m still on the subject of the complexity of brains here…) Sometimes people’s brains focus entirely on the wrong things, or perhaps this is my opinion.  Anyway, most of us have that one relative we must establish boundaries with, reguide in conversation, or steer clear of. We accept them as they are and realize no matter what we do or say she will still see things the way she see them and do and say whatever she wanst. This person on several occasions interrupted conversations I was involved in to throw in a sarcastic remark pertaining to me until I finally politely called her out on it. She then proceeded to push her way into an intimate discussion a close friend and I were having to tell my friend how another relative was so jealous of her. I redirected her conversation several times while my friend stood there silently with her mouth hung open. Finally, I told this person that it didn’t matter anyone’s physical size that we were all family and loved one another regardless, that those matters were trivial and petty. She continued to say well it mattered to the other person who was so jealous of her because she was thinner and prettier. Eventually, I pulled my friend a way and we left her standing alone. Ok, so here I’m getting back to the blue bird. My husband explained to me she was much like that blue bird banging himself up. He was so focused on another bird moving in his territory he beat himself up. This woman is so obsessed with the other person she can’t even see she is the problem. This person is a continuous story circle that knows neither beginning nor end, but I thought the blue bird comparison was worth mentioning.

We were able to get by my hometown Relay for Life. We had a fabulous time catching up with high school, childhood, and old family friends. It was a time of love, remembrance, and connection. Roots are just as wonderful as wings in life. While I’m delighted with where I am currently, I can’t tell you what a joy it is to return home to visit. I hugged so many people. Smiles and laughter bounced from person to person. I truly believe love and connection are why we are here. We have so much to give to one another, so much to share.

We traveled the back roads for several hours before we left my hometown county and returned to the beach. We took so many photographs while taking in the beauty. I realize my post today is quite random, so I’ll leave you with a photograph I took and a few parting words for today. These dandelion seeds will fly high and far. Many will latch to the soil and rebirth, and the process will continue. We have the power (and I think the obligation) to pass our good will to others. Together we can plant the seeds of respect, compassion and love to others…and we can grow a world of peace within and around us.

30 thoughts on “Growing A Better World, One Seed At A TIme

  1. Suzi, be glad you were there now and not the end of June when it gets light at least an hour earlier! We had this problem while visiting Yellowstone last summer. I did not know you and I shared this relative, LOL!

    Your dandelion photo reminds me of a recent insight. I belong to a “dandelion” family: for many generations, we have stayed together only a short time before flying off to far away places for planting. Pittsburgh is filled with daffodil families who cluster together, new bulbs crowded against old. Both are yellow and beautiful — at least if you get past the definition of dandelion as weed. So there’s a random, rambling comment for your random, rambling post that makes a super point. Loved it!

  2. Family time is so important – I’ve always lived hundreds of miles away from family I always wondered what it would have been like growing up near cousins I only see once a year.

    My favorite line of this post? Roots are just as wonderful as wings in life. 😀

    Sorry for your loss though. 😦

  3. Loved this post, Suzi. And don’t feel that it was rambling at all.

    Your husband hit the nail on the head with his analogy to the blue bird…

    “My husband explained to me she was much like that blue bird banging himself up. He was so focused on another bird moving in his territory he beat himself up. ”

    Exactly! And BRAVA to you for politely calling her out on it 🙂

    “most of us have that one relative we must establish boundaries with, reguide in conversation, or steer clear of. ”

    Yes, absolutely! In fact, I have several. But I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even communicate with them any longer because it’s just not worth it. I think of my family as my friends – I choose them carefully.

    Loved your dandelion photo!

    Have a grrrreat Monday, my friend!

    X

    • This is one relative it’s necessary I communicate on some level with so I try not to take her actions personally and reel her in when I can. I have to be careful though because she angers if she thinks she’s right and will cause a scene which is unpleasant and inappropriate so we’re gentle in handling her.

  4. A little bit random, but an interesting read nonetheless. I’m happy you had such a great time of love and connection. I agree that that is why we are here. And good for you for dealing with that pesky relative so gracefully. It’s a skill I’m still working on…..

  5. So you spent time with my mother this weekend!

    I do like that blue bird analogy. Aside from relatives like that, there has been a robin doing that to car windows parked just across the street from our house. I’ve watched the bird flirt with several vehicles in the last week.

  6. Those type of seeds and plantings are sooo much better for our environment. Really glad you had a nice trip. I, too, believe we are here for connection and no connection is random. 🙂

    • Yes, they are so we gotta’ be careful…and some of them are closer to us than we want to admit (or perhaps claim!)
      Thanks.
      It was a lovely weekend.

  7. Roots are just as wonderful as wings in life. So true. Sounds like you had quite the interesting visit back “home”! And you obviously have the patience of Job!! I agree, the brain is a complex entity…and many times very frustrating for everyone involved! And, BTW, I love random.

  8. Beautiful dandelion photo! Your relative sounds like a piece of work. I’m glad you were able to navigate the service without an ugly scene to ruin it.

    Memorial services, where long-lost family comes together make me thankful that I don’t see them very often. (My mom says there are reasons the family tree has been pruned. I’ll just take her word for it.)

  9. Cardinals do that pecking on windows thing, too, and it can be plenty annoying! I’ve known people to chop down trees because an insistent red bird kept trying to shoo away “enemies”! Glad you had a nice visit, despite the unpleasantness of that relative. What a gorgeous dandelion photo!

    • Our cardinals don’t do that here, at least not the couple of pairs we have in our yard…still, it’s a crazy thing to watch, isn’t it? And thank you about the photo.

  10. Love the detail in the dandelion photograph. The quote also resonates well with the picture.
    Boundaries are the best way to create space b/w loved ones that are difficult to deal with. I always try to repeat Ruiz’s Four Agreements prior to my intersections with difficult people.

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