On Being A Member Of A Tribe

“It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more ‘manhood’ to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.” ~Alex Karras

Oak tree Oak Ridge 010

I am continually amazed at the resilience of people, more so of their emotional strength than physical. I know people who have thought they were pushed beyond their limitations to be handed even more issues in which to deal.

I believe both physical and emotional strength are much deeper than DNA. While physical endurance is developed through training, I wonder if emotional fortitude is acquired in much the same manner.  I think it’s true we are often unaware of our own capabilities until we are tested.

The strongest asset for many of us is a belief system. Faith runs to the very core of our souls. It’s been proven those with positive attitudes fair better than those who are negative. Is positivity ingrained or learned? Take for example, two sisters who have similar health histories while one focuses on her ill health and the other sets her attentions on her blessings….who do you think will seem healthier to those viewing them? Who do you think actually feels better about life? Who do you think feels healthier,  physically and emotionally? Think about it. I’m sure you can come up with a pair of people in your life that come with the same circumstances but deal with them differently. While health is not always a choice, how we deal with our health is.

As for faith, it can be a religious concept but it runs much deeper than text. It’s relationship, with God, ourselves, and the people around us. Sometimes we are taught this, and sometimes we find it ourselves. I think the faith part is how we embrace our beliefs, how we fit it into our lives on a personal level. Some of us know ourselves better than others. Some are afraid of knowing themselves…they don’t understand that in knowing themselves they will know God and vice versa. We are divine beings given all we need to function in this world. We are endowed with the ability to tap into it, but many choose not.

The people around us are our personal tribe. They are the people who “get” us, who love us regardless of our flaws. Your tribe might be your family. They might be your friends. Or a combination of both. Never take them for granted. They are the ones who pull together and provide strength when one of their members is weakened.

There comes a time the harsh realization that someone you thought was part of your tribe is not there for you. Though you might be hurt, don’t spend too much energy trying to understand. We aren’t all made of the same stuff. Some can handle situations others can’t. Some people don’t want to be bothered. And that’s ok. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them or they don’t love you. It more or less defines your tribal unit. You will be surprised by the outpour of love from people you didn’t expect. Life has a way of bringing people in and out of our lives when needed. Be mindful of these instances because you learn a lot of lessons about life and people through them.

Together a tribe can move mountains. At any rate, they can save a person.  Love can be anything but simple, and yet it can be so simple. There is no greater motivation in life than love. If we can all learn to be less self-serving and more giving we can learn to love to in a way beneficial to all of mankind.

19 thoughts on “On Being A Member Of A Tribe

  1. And yet, another inspiring post, Suzi!

    “While physical endurance is developed through training, I wonder if emotional fortitude is acquired in much the same manner. I think it’s true we are often unaware of our own capabilities until we are tested.

    You are so correct because it took going through several challenging experiences to develop my capabilities of emotional fortitude. They were such great lessons for me.

    And also faith. If weren’t for my faith, I don’t think I could have gone through them with as much trust and ease.

    “As for faith, it can be a religious concept but it runs much deeper than text. It’s relationship, with God, ourselves, and the people around us.”

    You’re right, it does run much deeper than text. For me it’s my own personal relationship with God; listening to the guidance within my heart.

    Love your thoughts and feelings on our personal tribe!

    “Love can be anything but simple, and yet it can be so simple. There is no greater motivation in life than love.”

    So true!

    Sending ya a big cyber hug, my friend….

    (((((((( You )))))))
    X

  2. I’m not religious, Suzi, but reading this makes me a believer in your attitude! It’s within our power to change our own lives and the lives of others. My 92 year old Aunt (Mom’s sister) is still kicking and still loving her life. She has buried a husband of 60 years and 3 “boyfriends” after her husband died. She is currenly in a bit of a funk because she would like to meet a nice man to “keep company” with. I’m sure she will find him. She’s has cancer (and has been on chemo for 20 years), has a pacemaker, and the other various impedients of age. Still, my Aunt loves a night at the place that plays live Country Western and she’s still up for a two-step. Her strength amazes me. She’s a 100 pound miracle!

  3. This post reminds me afresh how I’m stunned and amazed to realize that half my strongest tribe (fellow writers) live in cyberspace. The support I’ve received from my online “tribe” during the process of preparing and releasing my recent book sends me to my knees in ecstatic humility. Local writers have only one advantage over online writing buddies: Local ones could bring me chicken soup or pitch in other ways should disaster strike. That’s hard to do from clear across the country. Kindred spirits can be anywhere, perhaps even beyond our current understanding of time and space.

    Thanks for being part of my Writer Tribe, Suzi!

  4. I think there is a major flaw with most of my family tribe and that is the absence of love and with love comes acceptance of each others faults. I divorced most of them this week, i have told my sister she can stay, but the rest i don’t need their negativity in my life right now. That doesn’t mean i don’t love them, i do, or i won’t ever speak to them again, i will. I just need a little distance. i think you had me at ‘‘manhood’ to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex.’ That is where i am at right now trying to decide what those principles are because life changes and we need to change with it. Thank you for this it is beautifully written.

    • Bev, Sometimes we have to take a step back and take care of ourselves. I’ve had to do this a few times with different family members. There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries. Like you said, it doesn’t mean we don’t love one another. I do hope things work themselves out for you.

      • Thank you Suzi, we are all grown ups now and we just have to find our own way. When Danielle died we all ran to our own corners and from there some of us occasionally send out sniper bullets that hits others. I am just thankful that when the worse things happen my own children come together and support each other. I have no hard feelings against anyone it was no ones fault in the family, it just is but the sniper bullets seem to come my way a lot. Just time for a break, life and time will go forward no matter what.

      • I understand, Bev. When my brother died a few years ago,we all grieved in different ways. Most of us pulled together, and then there was one who lashed at the others. We had to take a step back and let time help us heal…and it has.

  5. It takes a village, methinks, to nurture an adult! This is so beautifully written and a reminder that our tribe can be as expansive, or exclusive as we choose. Friends, family, God, cyber-buddies, all can be a part of who we are and a part of what gives us strength and courage each day.

  6. This is beautiful, Suzi! As children, most of us try to avoid difficult and hurtful situations; but those are the very ones that strengthen us, that allow us to grow. Like trees, we must bend with the wind and rest secure that, as you said, “Life has a way of bringing people in and out of our lives when needed.”

    • WE do avoid what hurts us, but even so we learn much. I think we learn as much in other instances but we don’t pay as much attention…there’s something about emotion that digs every thing deeper.

  7. This is a little freaky….I just finished a post draft sort of related to this subject. Tribe…clan…we all need to surround ourselves with people who love and care for us. But the highest clan/tribe relationship is certainly with the man upstairs!!

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