The Thaw

Language… has created the word “loneliness” to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word “solitude” to express the glory of being alone. -Paul Johannes Tillich


There are times I need space. I crave a quiet place to withdraw. There are times I don’t want to be accountable to anyone. I want to snuggle into myself and rest easy knowing it’s not my job to control life around me.

There are times I require solitude to reflect on the travels of my life and dream of where life is leading me now. Then there are times, I just want to be. I want to settle into me, no thoughts or agenda.

It’s as if I have been frozen and am thawing. I come alive as the stresses melt from within.

Perhaps I’m selfish when I desire my own company.

Perhaps I’m doing exactly what I should be doing to feed my soul.

Do you feel lonely when you are alone?

43 thoughts on “The Thaw

  1. Suzicate, it’s such good news that you experienced less severity. I’ve been saying prayers for all along the Eastern Coast. The fear must be beyond imagination.

    Tillich’s quote speaks volumes for me. Solitude is medicine for me, but then I reach a point where I need human contact. At that point, my extroversion comes out in full force and I regenerate in the company of others. Then, I need to head to my sanctuary where I seldom feel lonely.

    The times I HAVE felt the rawness of loneliness, I experience the 500 lb telephone. It’s strange that at the depth of feeling totally unloved, unneeded, unwanted, it’s hard to imagine anyone wanting to be at the other end of that connection!

    Once the valley smooths, it’s hard to imagine ever feeling that way. Thankfully, it happens very seldom for me. I have much compassion for people who live feeling lonely.

    However, Suzicate, I have even more compassion for people who have not learned to appreciate their own company.

    • I recharge with people sometimes as well, but sometimes I just need that quiet alone time.
      Feeling “alone” is a terrible thing, so glad I don’t feel that way often either.
      It is important to learn to be alone. I think it enables to be our best selves when we’re with others.

  2. I think it’s perfectly natural (and healthy!) to want to have your own space and a place to think, on your own….especially the poets of the world 🙂
    Lovely to “meet” you – and a lovely post too!

  3. “Perhaps I’m selfish when I desire my own company.

    Perhaps I’m doing exactly what I should be doing to feed my soul.”

    I’m the same way Suzi. But I don’t feel that it’s selfish, yet actually healthy to desire and enjoy your own company. For me, it’s a way to recharge and renew myself. Also, I require ‘quiet alone time’ because that’s when I connect to and hear inner guidance.

    “Do you feel lonely when you are alone?”

    Never. Because I always feel loved when I’m alone.

    Great post, my friend. Love the quote!


    • “Never. Because I always feel loved when I’m alone.” – I love this! There’s nothing more beautiful than knowing who you are and feeling love just as you are.

  4. Lovely quote! I, too, treasure my “Debbie-time.” I think that’s part of being a creative person, the needing time alone periodically to regroup and recharge. I don’t think of it as being selfish, unless you take time away from others who need you at that moment — instead, it’s good for your sanity and peace of mind!

  5. I am often alone . . . I am seldom lonely. I love peace, solitude, and quiet.

    And I never feel selfish for wanting to be alone.

    I would only feel selfish if I forced myself to be with others when I wasn’t in the mood to be companionable and put a “damper” on the occasion.

  6. I love my alone time and do not feel lonely at all. Sometimes I beg my husband to take the boys somewhere so I can just be alone (sometimes I even do something useful, like clean house :))

  7. As much as I treasure my alone time, there are times when I get lonely.

    Most weekdays, I’m alone, so I look forward to being with my family evenings and weekends. And when they aren’t around at those times, as can be the case, I get lonely. Make sense?

    • Makes total sense. When hubby goes out of town, I think I’m looking forward to time to do things I don’t normally get to do…I start to miss him right away. I love my alone time, but I also love time with loved ones…guess it’s a matter of balance and enjoying both. Did you get any snow after the storm moved through?

  8. It depends. Usually not. Usually, like you’ve written here, I crave it. But being selfish in some instances is not a bad thing. It’s caring for your soul – which can then reach out to others. Can’t drink from an empty well and all that…. don’t you think?

  9. This is a great distinction between loneliness and solitude. I am a great lover of solitude. I find myself lonely when I’m searching for approval.

  10. Nice post, Susan. And I don’t think you’re alone.

    This reminds me of a book I recently read called, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that won’t stop Talking.”

    I love my alone time.

  11. I don’t think wanting alone time is selfish, but rather something that is necessary. Many people don’t know how to enjoy their own company. I love being alone, having my thoughts to myself as I work out a particular scene I am writing. I have friends who wouldn’t think of being home alone with at least the radio or tv for company, but I like the quiet of an empty house. 🙂
    A beautiful post, Susan!

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