When Friends Move On

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

 

Everyone woman needs another woman to cry over liars, cheaters, haters, bad haircuts, and days gone wrong. They also need someone to rejoice over love, success, good sales, and the perfect shoes. No matter how much we love them, few men can do these things well. Seriously, they don’t even gossip correctly. The point being they claim they don’t gossip; they call it passing along information or telling things like it is. Well, women do that, too…we just add a bit of flair! Don’t look at me like that – you know you’ve not only gossiped at some time, but you enjoyed it, too!

Sometimes I’ve been Lucy and other times I’ve been Ethel. Either way, one was lost without the other. My first Lucy was my cousin. She was the fun one, the daring one, the pretty one. I was the voice of reason that eventually followed her wherever she dragged me. We shared everything, including relatives. We even shared chickenpox as babies. We swapped clothes and stories. We were one another’s guts and glory. We did things we dared not do alone. We got in trouble together. We cried together. We yelled at each other and smacked one another a time or two. We even yelled at others and smacked them in defense of one another.  We bragged about one another’s good points. We hugged each other when no one else knew our pain. For a long time we were closer than sisters. We drifted apart after we grew up. We talk occasionally on the phone or see one another now and then. I miss my Lucy. No one will ever take her place.

I’ve had substitute Lucys. One is my friend I met shortly after I moved hundreds of miles from home. We met when she moved into my condo complex. She was with one of my hair clients who happened to be her neighbor where she was moving from. We quickly bonded, and sadly we both eventually dropped the other friend. When our husbands went to work she’d traipse down the street in her pjs toting a pot of coffee. We used to joke that the neighbors probably thought we were lesbians. Though she didn’t have a child at the time, she babysat when my babysitter let me down. I cooked and fed her when all she knew how to do was pour cereal and milk.. We’ve stuck together through thick and thin. We eventually bought houses in separate cities, but continued to see each other often since we were only thirty minutes apart. The visits lessened through, but the phone calls were steady. We’ve cleaned each other’s houses, nursed one another while sick, cried and laughed together, and raised our children together. Once she came over to “babysit” me after surgery and decided I needed to go out for fresh air and ice cream…I fell down a flight of stairs enroute, but all was well as she was there to pick me up, panic a bit, and then laugh it off. Our days of physically seeing each other are almost nonexistent; however she is the one person I talk to almost every day. She knows what I’m thinking before I say it and vice versa. She’s not afraid to call me out for not listening or any other “unfriendly” thing I might be guilty of. We tell each other the truth even when it hurts, and eventually we forgive one another for the honesty. (Yes, your ass does look huge! What the heck did you do to your hair?) My Lucy is soon moving to Hawaii. I don’t know why I’m so sad…we’ll continue our phone conversations all the same. It’ll even give me an excuse for a great vacation. And better yet, it will make us get together for a fun Lucy/Ethel fling…maybe we’ll even invite the Ricky and Fred to go out with us!

People have drifted in and out of my life through the years. Friends have come and gone. The Lucys and Ethels have remained, even if only in my heart.

The Spin Cycle: Friends

45 thoughts on “When Friends Move On

  1. Suzi, being a huge…and I mean HUGE “I Love Lucy” fan, I adored this post!

    Love the photo!

    OMG, and this made me howl…..

    “The point being they claim they don’t gossip; they call it passing along information or telling things like it is. Well, women do that, too…we just add a bit of flair!”

    Bwhahhahahahhaha! Priceless! And that’s why most of my friends are women, I like pass along information with FLAIR!

    I had a very good friend, David, who I’ve lost contact with, but he and I were like Lucy and Ethel. I was Lucy, he was Ethel. And it’s funny because we were both comedic actors, so it was perfect!

    “People have drifted in and out of my life through the years. Friends have come and gone. The Lucys and Ethels have remained, even if only in my heart.”

    Love that!

    Have a super day, my friend……X

  2. I have loved my girlfriends (the real ones) and held them tight all my life. Actually I have two that have been very close friends since we were 7 years old. Others come and go in and out of our lives. The ones we keep are true treasures!

  3. This is the second thing I’ve read today about the importance of girlfriends. There must be a message for me in here somewhere. My first Lucy was actually a Lucinda. Like you, most of my relationships drifted away, to be replaced by new ones. I changed, they changed, circumstances changed. I think the important thing is to keep room in your heart for people to move in, out, and maybe back in. One never knows.

  4. Yes! Sometimes we’re Lucy and sometimes we’re Ethel. I had one good friendship in which we were BOTH Lucy and it was a problem! I also had a cousin who was my Lucy – she always got me in trouble!

    You are linked!

  5. I loved it!! Christine Grote tweeted this out and I had to read and so glad I did! I have a lot of great friends that I have kept over the years and it is a blessing to me to have those wonderful friendships that you can just pick up again when you are together ! Thanks for a great post!

  6. One of life’s most shining treasures – true friendships, the kind that are there through thick and thin, good times and bad, who tolerate your moments of being a less-than-perfect human, who laugh with you, cry with you, are with you for life. As you said, if not in person, in the heart.

  7. So sorry to hear your “Lucy” is moving clear off to Hawaii. It’s hard when we lose girlfriends. They know us and our secrets too well, and they have a way of “completing” us that family and spouses can’t. At least she’s moving someplace wonderful, and you can look forward to visiting!

  8. My friendships are going through a lot of change these days … they are retiring, moving, one is seriously sick. It is hard to deal with the change when it feels like loss .. but, your post reminds me that there are ways to stay in touch (it will just be different) and that new friends will probably come my way.

  9. I’m sorry your Lucy is moving away, but at least it’s Hawaii and not Arizona! It is a good vacation excuse! I agree that friendships are so important. If I talked to my husband about the stuff I talk to my girlfriends about, he’d be comatose, or in a bar somewhere drinking!

    • Not yet, but it’s on my “to do” list! The hubby and I have a favorite winery where we grew up and I’m hoping to get there to do this one year!

  10. How we do friendship is really changing, isn’t it? At times I’ve felt that I risk losing certain friends if I don’t have all the latest gadgets and gismos that techies love to live through. However, the tried and true will be there through any techie storm – just like Lucy and Ethel; just like you and your wonderful sounding friend.

    • It is changing, I guess with the times…but the heart of friendship remains. I still like personal contact, but we do what we have to when it’s people we care about.

  11. I LOVE this, suzicate! I bet the reason you’re feeling sad about your friend moving to Hawaii is that she’ll be SO far away, even though you don’t see each other physically like you used to, at least there was comfort in knowing it could happen. And now, that ‘could happen’ is a little more complicated…but just imagine how much FUN you’ll have visiting her in Hawaii – and when you do, can I tag along? 😉

    Spinning Up Some Friendly Friendships

  12. Isn’t this the truth! I love your opening paragraphs! 🙂 Especially the part about shoes. Men just don’t appreciate shoes like women do. I’m fortunate to have two BFFs in my life right now. And I can’t help but think if we lived close to each other, I’d have three. xoxo

  13. One of my best friends moved to Oregon at the end of last year. It was very sad. Since she has been gone we have manage to talk AT LEAST once a week every week except one. We have talked more often since she moved than when she was here.

    Hopeully even when her schedule gets busy with friends and activities we can still make time to talk.

    It is sad when friends move away even if time face-to-face was not frequent.

    Hugs to you!

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