It’s All In How We Look At It

“The most dangerous untruths are truths slightly distorted.” ~Georg C. Lichtenburg

Scattered leaves, fish eye view.

We usually see things the way we want to see them, not always as they are.

We focus on what is important to us and lose the details.

How often do we complain things are not as they seem?

Same scene, vivid mode.

Then there are times we blow things out of proportion.

We make things brighter, bigger, and more important than they really are.

We concentrate on things that don’t really matter in the big picture.

Again we see what we want to see.

Learning to see things through a different perspective prevents us from distorting our vision.

We need to take the time to take a second look.

51 thoughts on “It’s All In How We Look At It

  1. Your words are simple, beautiful and very true. Until this summer,
    I viewed my life through filters that I’ve since discovered were distorting. I was an expert at making things ‘brighter, bigger and more important than they really are’, blowing ‘good’ and ‘bad’ alike out of proportion. A breakdown in my relationship with my adult daughter made forced me to take a second look. Truth can be painful but, in the end, it’s freeing. Thank you!

  2. So very true. We see the world by how we think so we need to get outside the box and expand our consciousness.That will change our perspective for us. Good one!

  3. I blew things up the other day about something that hurt my feelings. Jason didn’t understand, and THAT made me more upset. Then I realized, I need to check myself. This making stuff out of control is only hurting me and my relationships. Not to mention it was dumb. Very timely post and nicely put. 🙂

  4. Interesting. Like Angelia, I got upset about something my husband said. I was doubly upset because I have set the goal for myself to remain happy, no matter what. When we discussed what was hurting me, it further upset me that he didn’t understand.

    I pondered on it the whole day. Hubby wisely left me alone…plus he was doing his own pondering. I finally realized what the matter was. I wanted him to change to fit into my idea of what our relationship should be. When he didn’t jump to, I got upset.

    I can’t change anyone in the world, only me. Trying to do so ultimately leaders to failure and frustration. Once I understood that, my happy came back 😀 Now I get to change me to accommodate his individuality. He is not wrong, only different from me. Isn’t that why I married him in the first place?

    • You’re a wise woman, Sandra. I think we expect them to know all and get upset when they of all people don’t understand where we are coming from. A lot of pressure to put on someone, huh? Once we refocus, it all seems a bit ridiculoous, but we all do it at times. And yes, as much as we’d like to change others, we’re better off changing ourselves since the other is impossible. Glad you got your happy back!

  5. It really is all about our perspective.The other day someone came to drop off something of mine and pick up things of hers. This is a friendship that seemed lovely at first and turned into me running to help and then being lumped in with “middle class” (her words) people who are unthinking, unenlightened etc etc. The friendship fizzled out mostly because I stopped playing. Anyway, when she came to get her things, she stood with her back to me the whole time. I was pretty insulted. And as I started to wind myself up about it, after she left, I took a step back and asked “what was happening there?’ and I realized that her standing with her back to me was mirroring that I had turned my back on her. So, after examining why I had done that, i was able to just let it all go.

    • Sometimes it takes time to be able to look at things from another perspective and we see much more clearly. There have been times I thought I’d been right and much later I realized I did not act in the kind manner in which I should have and I was looking at the situation from a very personal view rather than as it really was.

  6. I am certainly guilty of this–mountain out a mole hill.

    Not only seeing, but just being willing to see things from a different perspective can be an issue as well.

  7. If we could back away and see the “big picture”, things would always look different. Alas, this is a very hard thing to do. A little thing, something as insignificant as leaving socks on the floor, has angered me way out of proportion. i finally realized it had more to do with me, and how I felt about myself, and my own insecurities, than it had to do with my husband and his carelessness. I either pick up my husband’s socks, or I leave them where they are now. But the anger has gone out of it.

    • And if only hindsight were 20/20! I am getting better about not getting angry over things not done the way I prefer them because the others may prefer me to do things their way…still, I like them done my way but I get over it!

  8. I am not so comfortable with “changing myself to accommodate others”. I spent many years doing that and it didn’t make it better in the long run. I think perhaps simply seeing our differences and accepting them, learning to live together with the differences or in spite of them is a better answer. We all need to see and hear clearly, without adding colors to what we see and what we hear.

    • I don’t think we need to change ourselves to accomodate others, but we do need to learn to see things from perspectives other than our own. Of course, this is much easier to do when it does not involve us personally. Sometimes a bit of space before a second look works things out.

  9. First, faaaaaaaabulous photos, Suzi!

    LOVE the ‘swirl effect’ in the first one. VERY cool!

    Second, you share such wise words in this post.

    It truly IS how we choose to ‘perceive’ something. Often for me, I see things as I have in the past, therefore have ‘blurry’ vision; not always SEEING what’s there. Now.

    “Learning to see things through a different perspective prevents us from distorting our vision.

    We need to take the time to take a second look.”

    You’re so right, my friend. And thank you for sharing this reminder!

    Have a wonderful week……X

  10. It has always made me uncomfortable know that we all see things differently and that our visions are not totally reliable. Physically, the color blind person sees my favorite color green as something I would not recognize. And, internally, our experiences, prejudices, even our desires … see situations differently.

    “One has not only an ability to perceive the world but an ability to alter one’s perception of it; more simply, one can change things by the manner in which one looks at them.”

    • I think one of our problems is that we see/sense through emotions, and we are each wired differently. When we can take the we out of the scene we see more logically.

  11. Wise words and a beautiful set of photos. When you look closely you can see the layers of leaves. Just like all the layers in our relationships. Your thoughts are a good reminder to take time before we respond to something that upsets us. If I could just see things through my teenager’s eyes, maybe we wouldn’t argue so much…

  12. I like that — taking time to take a second look. Isn’t that what the ancients meant when they advised us to walk around awhile in the other person’s moccasins??

  13. Isn’t that the truth! There have been times when I go for that second look and discover the most incredible phenomenon. I’m wrong!

    Far better to have wondered if my perceptions were out of whack and to find they were – then to go off half-cocked with both barrels loaded!

  14. There’s a quote on my shed that my sons wrote way back when. It says it like you did. “We do not see things as they are but as we are” I wrote a blog post about it called something like “Graffiti on the house” . I’m going to search my own blog and find it. It wasn’t about the quote though just that they’d written that and found it to speak to them.

  15. This kind of fits up with one of the four agreements. “Don’t take anything personally.” If your first thought is to NOT take something personally, it allows you to examine it. You can look at WHY someone said what they said, or WHY they DID what they did. Sometimes if you can figure that out then you can act from there. It could actually turn out that they did something in reaction to something you did, but with the understanding of that it helps. But then there is also another agreement of not assuming anything. Tricky!

    Sometimes seeing things from a different perspective allows us to act more appropriately instread of blowing it out of proportion.

    In addition to one picture being vivid it is also further back or not cropped or blown up, correct?

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