It’s All In How You Look At It

“It is by helping others that we are helped, it is by giving that we receive, and it is by loving that we are loved.” ~John Harricharan (Morning Has Been All Night Coming)

We are each gifted with both the blossom and the spikes.

Which we choose to use creates our lives.

We may use our blossoms to delight the eye or soothe the soul.

We can use our thorns as a protective layer to keep others from getting close and penetrating the surface.

Sometimes we choose to jab others, even draw blood for no reason at all. We might be having a bad day, feeling ill, or just not getting our way when we want. When we choose this route, we are being selfish and hurtful. Are we even aware when do this? Does it really make us feel any better? When we put our own wants and needs above others, making ourselves seem of more importance, what does it really say about us? We are all guilty of this at one time or another whether we admit it or not.

When someone else pokes us, how we react says more about us than about the person inflicting the pain. I’ve had my days (and sometimes I still do) of reacting in anger, pain, and frustration. I’ve called names, yelled, and held grudges. Sometimes I’ve apologized for my behavior, other times not. We expect to be forgiven whether asked to be or not. And sometimes we choose to remain silent. It doesn’t lessen the pain, but it prevents escalating a situation that never should have been created.

We can allow our petals to unfurl, offering kindness and generosity. We can let our lives blossom with love. Or we can prick and snarl at others, hurting them and ourselves in the process. Do we really want to wither spirits, our own included?

The flower or the thorn? You decide.

We are all students of life.

Occasionally, we get to be the teacher.

And sometimes we are merely the lesson.

52 thoughts on “It’s All In How You Look At It

  1. Okay, can I just tell ya HOW MUCH I enjoyed this post, Suzi?

    You’ve shared such a wealth of insight through your beautiful photos and words.

    And great post title! It’s so true….It’s all in how we look at it!”

    “I’ve had my days (and sometimes I still do) of reacting in anger, pain, and frustration. I’ve called names, yelled, and held grudges. Sometimes I’ve apologized for my behavior, other times not.”

    Oh, me too, my friend. I’ve had a lot of days like that. But everytime I react that way, I see that it only drains me (emotionally, physically, and spiritually).

    Love how you concluded this post….

    “We are all students of life.

    Occasionally, we get to be the teacher.

    And sometimes we are merely the lesson.”

    I sooooooooooo agree!

    Thank you for sharing. Have a vunderbar weekend……X

  2. If someone is trying to bully me with right jabs and left hooks . . . I can usually laugh at the silliness of their actions.

    If someone is trying to bully someone else . . . the advocate in me enjoys stepping into the ring to jab back.

    Aah . . . that’s better.

    Great post.

  3. One of the many joys of being morbidly self-aware is that I ALWAYS realize when I’m being nasty just because I feel like crap and can’t muster the effort to overcome it enough to be kind. Which makes it feel even worse. So I usually take a deep breath and just scream the nastiness in my head. Then I take some Advil.

  4. I completely, totally, 100% agree, and I love the way you put it into words! 🙂 You also always have great quotes on your posts! Thanks so much Suzi, I very much enjoyed reading this post, I may share it with some friends as well!

  5. Yikes, bull thistle is invasive? That’s a shame. Something so pretty can be so destructive. Good and yet bad at the same time. But as the title of this post says, it’s all a matter of perspective.

  6. sometimes the student, sometimes the teacher, sometimes the lesson – we don’t always get to choose that part, but always we can choose to respond with grace. that perhaps is the greatest of all – that we can choose!
    walk in beauty this day.

    • I sincerely thank you for the honor. However, I stopped passing awards over a year ago. I value all who read my blog and those I read…I think you’re all worthy of many accolades.

  7. Great thoughts. I realize have been a mix of flower and thorn lately. I started out a flower in search of answers and when hit with a deafening silence, my search took on a thorny attitude.
    There is a fine line between being totally honest with a friend and forcing our version of reality on them. It is all in how you look at it … or in my case … how you say it.

  8. If I know the person well enough I am learning to ask. If I can’t figure out why they “jab”, I ask. As you said, it could be they aren’t feeling well, or . . . .(many reasons), so I am learning to ask. Sometimes it is something that talking about helps.

    Recently I was being jabbed and I couldn’t figure out why. I asked and the jabber denied it. I told the jabber that s/he could take time to think about it. Later there was an admission of a posibility as to what was bothering the jabber. And I think the thorns might be sheathed now. I think that by pointing out there was jabbing going on (which the person didn’t maybe even realize was happening) there was a little self examination, then admission so the issue could be addressed. So sometimes there is “involuntary jabbing” happening. 🙂 So many people react different ways to the stresses of life. Some jab without meaning to draw blood from those around.

    Same goes for me, when I am thorny/jabbing I ask myself why. Often times if nothing upset me it IS because I don’t feel well. But as you know some flowers have thorns as protection, so sometimes it might not always be such a bad thing to be thorny. We are entitled to keep those pests away the ones that suck the life out of flowers! 🙂

    • I think it’s wonderful that your’e willing and unafraid to go there…It’s good to talk about it and get it out so you both have a better understand of what’s happening.

      • Well, with some people I feel I have to be willing to go there otherwise it festers and the is not a good thing. Some people I just might not see often enough to have a chance to go there, ya know? And . . . I wouldn’t say I am unafraid . . . sometimes it takes a few days to work up the courage to ask what is wrong. Because sometimes the “what’ might be me and something I have done and then I have to be willing to try to fix that OR it is not the most fun way to spend time with someone, so I get scared of how it will go, but . . . I don’t like the underlying negativity so I do it.

  9. Good post. I think we are all guilty of it. I don’t know what gets into me sometimes, but when I am mean and evil, it’s not usually, if ever, out of a conscious decision to be so.

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