Usually when I say I am done I am not referring to a completed project. It means I am over something. I want no more of the situation.
If I say I am undone, it means I have surpassed my limits. You could very well say I have been pushed beyond my means. (I must add it takes quite a bit to get me to that point.) It might be a person trying me or it might be a situation that has overwhelmed me. Basically, the final straw has been placed on the camel’s back.
When I am done, I need to walk away. I must have time to regroup. If I don’t do this, there is the possibility that I will react. Reactions rather than carefully thought out actions are most times not good for anyone.
If I am not allowed to walk away, it is less likely I will accept the circumstances in which I am conflicted. Adding to that layer shakes my foundation. If I reach the point of coming undone, I first lash out which I must admit is not pretty, and then I shut down. A combination of time, distance, and silence prevent this from happening.
Like everyone else, I experience minor irritations in life. If I can pinpoint the cause, I can halt the escalation of a “situation”. Sometimes it might be my own doing, like taking things the wrong way. Or maybe I’m trying to control something that is beyond my control or frankly not mine to interfere. Then there are times that people try to manipulate me. Or possibly I might be annoyed at the treatment of people I care about. No matter, I try to avoid confrontations and uncomfortable situations. However, we find these things happening with co-workers and family members at times, so avoidance doesn’t always work. Acceptance works, but unfortunately we might just come undone before we give up and accept the situation or person as is.
Often times while we are hiking, Dirt Man will ask me if I want to continue or go back. There are times I want to go back, knowing full well I am not done because I have to retrace my steps to get where I started. As it goes, many times he convinces me to continue, (which mean I have a much longer path to retrace) and I do but often without enthusiasm. (This means my attitude stinks!) Needless to say, by the time we are “done” with the hike I am truly “undone”…that is until I get home and see my photographs and realize I might be achy but if I hadn‘t continued I wouldn‘t have gotten those great pictures! See, accepting the situation, looking for the good in it, and moving on really does work…sometimes.
When a cake is done, you must allow it time to cool. If you frost it too quickly the cake crumbles or the icing melts. At any rate, it becomes a mess that no one enjoys.