The Dramatic (Or Not So Dramatic) Life

“There comes a time in life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, and focus on the good. So, love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is part of LIFE…Getting back up is LIVING …..”
— Lois Heady

Photo credit: Wikihow.com

Drama can easily take over our lives if we allow ourselves to be sucked in. When emotions are high, we lose focus. We function on adrenaline and feelings, and therefore react differently while in the heat of the moment. If we can remove ourselves from the situation things often look much different a few days later. However, sometimes the damage is already done. And even when damages occur, our reactions can still determine the outcome. As difficult as it might be, sometimes no reaction at all can be best. And then again, I wonder if that is just a cowards way out by not wanting to get involved. Most of us always have an opinion, but for the sake of peace we might keep it to ourselves.

At any rate, most dramas vary somewhat but have many commonalities. Some plays are tragedies, others comedies, and some are spectacles. Drama always has a star player. It usually has supporting actors and an audience. Maybe more than anything it needs a critic to close it down.

Drama often occurs when someone is not getting what they want or feels slighted. It can also start from a misinterpretation of what someone has said or done or from miscommunication in general. We might be the ones spreading false information. We might be the one whose words or actions have been misinterpreted. Or we might merely be innocent bystanders. One can apologize, walk away, or participate. (Are you still on stage? Are you you continuing to watch to see what happens? Did you leave the building?)  Whatever reaction one chooses in his role determines the outcome of the drama. It can fold production or it can go for an encore.

In life we find dramas being carried out with different casts in our families, groups of friends, churches, P.T.A.s, and organized sport teams. How do we keep from getting sucked in? I prefer to stay clear of drama as seldom anything good comes from it. However, we all get involved in one way or another at one time or another. Are we starring in the show, selling tickets, or watching the play? Must we stick around to see the ending? Is the theme of the drama pertinent to our life?

I usually consider myself a spectator in life. I like to watch what is going on around me. I’d rather slip in and out than be cast in a starring role. I learn more this way, am able to keep my emotions in check, and am less stressed. Am I missing out? I don’t think so. I play an active role in my own life process. I only prefer to stay out of the politics of everyday living that surrounds me. I think there’s a difference between actually living life and living in the midst of drama and politics. Some choose to live loud and open while others choose a more subtle approach to life. I suppose we are all stars of own life dramas, and the world is our theater. How we want to be perceived and remembered is up to us.

42 thoughts on “The Dramatic (Or Not So Dramatic) Life

  1. This post came at a perfect time for me. I may have to work on a post that links to this one. Thanks for this.

    I should follow your lead a bit more–stand back and observe, instead of rushing in and offering my 2 cents.

    • Sometimes it’s difficult to stand back and observe…I’m getting better at it. I think when it’s family we consider it our duty to put in our two cents worth…and sometimes the drama is generated because all that person wants is attention, doesn’t matter if it’s negative.

  2. I’m with you on the subtle approach to life. That is one of the reasons I’ve stopped blogging publicly for now. I realized I was concentrating more on writing about the moment than living in the moment. My relationship with myself was being overlooked while I used the blog to look outward for something that I should be cultivating within … acceptance & belonging. So I’m going to be the star of my own show for awhile, and stay busy with my one woman fan club.

    About being in the heat of the moment ~ walking away is not the cowards way out, especially if you are in the fire with someone that you care about. you summed it up perfectly ~ we function on adrenaline and feelings. all we hear are the words, not the intention behind the words. its been 8 months since what could have been a really great talk with my mom became an ugly inferno of misinterpretations and emotions, and i’m still having those “ah ha” moments of understanding. so walking away, or at least taking a deep breath before you react, can make all the difference. and the truth is, most stuff just isn’t worth arguing over, anyway.

    • Come on, you’ve got lots of fans! I understand the need to focus inward.
      It’s so easy to react, but much smarter to wait it out. I’ve sure made my own share of mistakes in reacting or getting sucked into something I should have stayed out of. We live and learn, and there will always be times it’s difficult to walk away. but you’re right, most stuff isn’t worth arguing about anyway…in the big scheme of things, they really don’t matter all that much, but our reactions to it are what leaves a lasting impression.

  3. I always like to play the spectator because I played some of the other roles when I was younger and found they didn’t suit me so well. I’ve been quitting the stage (and the building) a lot in recent days – more because I need to find some time for me rather than who others think I should be. But sometimes it isn’t easy to do as you say. I have made some choices I regret in the past and these still occasionally pop up now and trip me up in the present.

  4. Drama and politics, like anger, take too much energy and time. But still, I find myself in the midst of it sometimes. Then I have to step back and decide how strongly I feel about what’s going on – do I continue to play the role or do I fade into the shadows?

  5. Applause….applause….applause!

    Suzi, this post is faaaaaaaaaaaabulous! And being someone who was on the stage, I love the way you used the masks of comedy and tragedy to express your point.

    There is so much within this post that I can relate to and learn from because I am by nature a reactor, so I have to watch myself very carefully because I can say things I might regret later on. Through age, I am learning to ‘pause’ before speaking. I wouldn’t call myself a drama queen, however I can be very vocal; coming to the defense of someone else when I think they’re being bullied or treated unjustly. I’ve had to learn to allow others to speak for themselves.

    Still learning that – HA!

    LOVE the quote above the photo!

    Thank you for sharing this post, my friend….x

    • Yes Ron, you the ins and outs of the drama industry! I wasn’t sure how accurate my terms were, should have asked you! Yes, we are all still learning along the way.

  6. I’ve seen it right here (I mean blogging, not on your post). When I first started, there was a male blogger who left some very rude comments on a woman’s post. Everyone was outraged and wrote cutting rude posts about the man. In a sense, it was ganging up on him until he felt he needed to quit blogging. It was an ugly spectacle. He had left a rude comment on one of my posts using foul language. I deleted his comment and emailed him that my grand children sometimes read my blog so I was uncomfortable with the words. The man said he understood, but he did remove himself from my “follower” list. In other words, I handled it privately and without getting into a war with him. I found the collective anger of 10 people bashing him was just for the drama of it. It’s so not my style.

    • I remember that incident you are referring to…I was on the outside and didn’t know what was going on, but was aware there was a situation. But yes, the drama does even occur in blog land which surprised me. There were some other incidents of people stealing posts and pics and claiming as theirs and then outright attacks on people who were being funny and some political correct zealots attacked because the person she was referring to could possibly have had a certain disease that the writer would not have known about. Unruly at times!

  7. Pingback: The Dramatic (Or Not So Dramatic) Life (via The Water Witch’s Daughter) | Change is Never Ending

  8. Great quote, this is going on my quote page! You’re so wise! Love the last line ‘how we want to be perceived and remembered is up to us’ sometimes I worry too much what other people think. It onlymatters what I think! We should all try not to let drama and stress bring us down. Here’s to happiness!

  9. Some people are addicted to drama in the sense there is never any serenity. If it’s not one thing it’s another. They are toxic and drag everyone around them into the whirlpool. If things start to mellow they invent crises. This was mo of second ex and even our adult children stay away from her to keep their sanity.

  10. If we can remove ourselves from the situation things often look much different a few days later.

    So true. Even better, we can “remove ourselves” from the situation right away (in the midst of the fray) by stepping into the role of disinterested (neutral) observer.

    When we disengage our “ego” and step back . . . we can interact without getting caught in the cross fire. Instead of wanting to be viewed in a specific way, we say what we want to say and let people view us as they wish.

    Tonight on the beach, I asked a boy to stop chasing a Great Blue Heron because the bird had flown away from him about 6x. He stopped. Two other people who’d been watching thanked me for intervening on the bird’s behalf.

    I noticed that the boy look “dejected,” and went back to explain why I had asked him to stop. His father intervened and told me to mind my own business. He said that I should never had said anything because “his son was just having FUN.”

    I looked at him and said, “How about the bird? Was it having fun?”

    He fumed and sputtered and chomped on his cigar, and I’m sure thought me to be a terrible person. I just shrugged it off. What he thinks of me is just his opinion.

    When we stop caring so much about what other people think, we are able to act with integrity ~ what we think, what we say, and what we do are in harmony.

    • I’ve always loved the quote “what other people think of me is none of my business.” However, I am usually a little too thin skinned to really be that way though I’d love to not care….all in getting ego out of the picture, a struggle some days more than others.

  11. As always, you speak the truth sister! Its up to us to decide how much we let that drama affect our lives and emotions. I don’t think sitting back and watching is the cowards way out. I think its the wise woman’s choice.

    I also love the comment just above mine. You are both wise women!

    ♥Spot

  12. I’m with you on watching from the sidelines. There’s lots of drama at my work and it makes me wonder why we can’t all just get along. I refer to my desk as my cave, and I like to stay in it when I can. I can think of a few people who enjoy conflict, but it’s not for me.

  13. again i agree, getting sucked into a drama can be very unpleasant experience for a levelheaded person but some times they do get sucked in and regret for long time.

    i too prefer observing from a distance and try to pacify the drama, if i cant then i prefer shutting up and let them be.

  14. “When emotions are high, we lose focus.” I can’t tell you how long it’s taken me to believe this. Sorry for the confession.

    I admit, I’ve been a high drama person a good portion of my life. I’m playing around with calming down. “Life is too short to be anything but happy.” felt like a foreign language to me. I was raised on tension = meaning and depth.

    I think not.

    I’m learning a new way.

    Thanks for confirming this new way is lovely. So are you.

    • I also was high drama a good portion of my life…I was raised right in the midst of the tension of it. It has taken me a long time to embrace the calm, and I don’t want to give it up.

  15. Like you, I avoid drama … it makes me feel queasy inside and to be honest, I really don’t understand it, it is not something I am comfortable being a part of. I read this post earlier in the week and immediately sent it to a friend who is caught up in the middle of an unbelievable drama … I am not sure whether or not it helped.

    Like you stated “Drama can easily take over our lives if we allow ourselves to be sucked in.” … my friend can not seem to get out of it and it is definitely not a productive or healthy way to live. I have seen what it can do to people … I wish there was an easy way to get people caught up in these messes to “let go”.

    thanks for another wise post.

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