Sometimes we feel like we are trapped in quicksand, sinking away little by little, day by day.

When submerged in muck, do you wallow in self pity?

Or do you cast self doubt aside and push your way to the surface?

If your friends are the ones bogged down, do you leave them to fend for themselves?

Or do you forge ahead and construct a trail for them to follow, and even pull them along if needed?

Water and air…sustenance of life.

Love, acceptance, and compassion…necessities of friendship. As always we must be kind enough to offer these things to ourselves before we can give them to others.

Are you your own lifeline? Are you a lifeline for others?

34 thoughts on “Lifeline

  1. Pingback: Lifeline (via The Water Witch’s Daughter) | Change is Never Ending

  2. Awesome post and flawless photo to express your feelings, Suzi!

    I’m both. I try to use and share my own life experiences to uplift and support those who might be going through similar experiences or in need.

    I try to empower others.

    Have a terrific Tuesday, Suzi!


  3. Beautiful post. And beautiful picture. Sometimes though, you have to know when to let go of the rope before you get dragged down too.


  4. sounds tough suzi. how’s the grieving going for you? Dear God, please continue to comfort and stay close to suzi and her family, friends and support network. heal their pain and keep them in Your presence.

    i have never really felt comfortable being someone’s lifeline, now that u ask it directly and i actively think on it. there r many reasons why.

    keep on.

    • I am actually at peace. I thank you for asking though. This piece wasn’t written in response to the grieving process. I was generally speaking…asking myself if I extend myself enough to others or whether I pull back too quickly. It’s difficult sometimes because people have to know how to do things for themselves yet we all need support. Asking myself if I am willing to accept others when I need support or do I only accept it if it’s offered the way in which I want not necessarily the way they extend it…all very general but complex questions.

  5. This reminds me of that commercial of someone drowning….the viewer is watching and they ask…if your friend is drowing wouldn’t you save them? Drug awareness commercial.

    When I saw that, it would make me think. Would I? Wouldn’t they take me under? Would it really do any good? Unless someone really, REALLY wants to stop doing drugs – you can’t stop them or save them. You can only be there for them.

    So, I guess that is what I do. I be there.


    • You’re a good friend….being there is a lifeline. I realize people have different interpretations of lifeline. I didn’t mean we could be everyone’s saving grace. People have to want to do it for themselves, but we can support them and help get them where they need to be.

  6. I know that sinking feeling when there really is nothing you can do at that point to help yourself. I can only thank God I have support from Alex and my friends to pull me up whether I want to come up or not. Another beautiful and eloquent post Suzicate. Thank you!

  7. Wonderful reflection, Suzi.

    I definitely am my own lifeline and try to teach others how to do/be the same for themselves.

    My efforts are not always appreciated. 😉

    * Sometimes people WANT to throw a pity party for themselves . . . instead of doing the hard work to climb out of the muck and mire.

    * Others expect everyone else to STOP what they are doing to HELP THEM . . . when they could far more easily help themselves.

    Sometimes the most compassionate thing to do is to remind them to be the architect of their future . . . rather than the prisoner of their past.

    Again, my efforts are not always appreciated.

  8. I’ll admit I struggle to be balanced with every aspect of this. I have recently made the tough decision to let go of some relationships that weren’t making me happy. In the short term this has hurt because I’m still not sure why I couldn’t maintain them which has heightened my own insecurities. In the long term I am sure that I have made the right decision. I would rather take the chance to move on than be bogged down in the unhappiness. For my friends I hold very little back.

    • I admit, I’m a bit topsy turvy myself. While I’ve been a lifeline to some, I’ve cut myself from toxic realtionships because I could feel myself being pulled down…and yes, I felt guilty about it. First priorities are for our own health. I have no problem with support of others except that sometimes it comes in the way they see is best for me, not the same as I see it. So really, there is a balance to it…not that I’ve figured it out myself, but I’m working on it!

  9. Being a lifeline is really painful and confusing sometimes … Maybe it is just me and my high ideals of friendship, but once I decide to put my hand out there, I can’t pull it back. It feels so wrong to pull my lifeline back when things get bad or to put conditions on it. Especially, when I reach out to a friend knowing perfectly well that they may not take my hand, or they may drag me down or emotionally hurt me, or it may be an extremely long wait before they do their part, or it may take a lot of time and effort on my part, or that it might fail anyway.
    That said, I also know that there are limits in every lifeline relationship … none of us are perfect friends or unbreakable or can be martyrs to our own lives. And, I realize without limits, situations can be made so much worse … co-dependencies being just one bad effect.
    As you can see, my struggle is how to be that dependable lifeline and have limits without those limits interfering with the lifeline I want to be. Does that make sense?

    I guess if you are like me, it is important to be upfront at the beginning and to be selective in who you offer your lifeline to.

    We all need a lifeline … the existence of that kind of trusting support makes life so much better. Thanks for contributing to my deep thoughts for today.

    • It makes complete sense. I think most of us are compassionate and struggle with boundaries. We all need a cirlce of trust. You are a good friend to your friends.

  10. been there, seen that, i am a born fighter, i never give up. and for my friends or anyone i see in muck my hands always stretch out, if they dont accept it i try to show them the way out…. i believe a lot depends on the person too.

  11. Nice reflection. Sometimes I think we perceive we our lifelines to others, but the only way to truly know the answer to this question is to ask the ones we are helping. I also think you can only be a lifeline to a few. That kind of friendship with lifelines attached is rare. Thanks for this post.

  12. I love what nrhatch said “Be an architect of your future not a prisoner of your past”. Great advice!

    I know (I think) what you were speaking of and you put it very well. Love you!

  13. I wish I could claim only the good, but I am some of both in both choices. I’ve failed myself and others, but I have also stood strong and supported others. I’m trying to grow in the latter direction. Every step counts.

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