If people were meant to pop out of bed, we’d all sleep in toasters. ~Author unknown, attributed to Jim Davis
I’m not a morning person, at least not before at least two cups of coffee! Once upon a time, getting up in the morning was much easier than it is now. Then Father Time whacked me upside the head, and I’ve never been right since.
I was not prepared for the lack of sleep parenthood brought with it. I couldn’t wait for my first born to start sleeping well. Little did I know that 10pm to 5am was exceptional for a newborn. I figured that out when I had my second son. This one woke every few hours for the first couple of weeks before making it routinely through the night. I had no idea other moms REALLY weren’t sleeping.
When my children were small I slept soundly, probably because I was exhausted from chasing them all day! I wanted to keep sleeping long after the alarm clock of pitter pattering little feet woke me up. I could even go back to sleep after they tired of bouncing on my bed. Eventually, I devised plans to secure another hour. I left milk cups waiting for them on the lowest shelf of the refrigerator. I set cereal, bowls, and spoons on the table. I even had a couple of hours of “Sesame Street” taped to buy me more time. Then they tired of Burt and Ernie and started to get into things…I was no longer allowed to sleep with one eye open unless I was prepared to walk into the living room to find tampons shot all the living room. In case you don’t know, they make perfect missiles for GI Joe’s jeep.
When the boys finally hit the age they liked to sleep in, my body was ready to rise early. Now how fair is that? I’d sacrificed sleep forever. It was no longer interested in catching those sheep I’d chased for years. Back then I thought it was because internally I knew how much I needed to get done in a day and my body forced itself awake. WRONG! It was that damn Mother Nature. She joined forces with Father Time, and they were out to get me big time! And they have not stopped since…
Truly, the two of them are trying to make my life miserable. My children are grown. My dog has the bladder of Lake Superior. Hubby can sleep deeply, at least after I’ve stopped snoring! There is no earthly reason for me to rise before the sun. I sleep soundly for the first four hours…then some sort of inspiration hits. However, I refuse to get up while it is still dark, even if I have the most incredible words EVER rolling through my head. (I’ve come to realize by actually following through that it is only delirium running through my head, not the next great American novel!) I resort to clock watching until I fall asleep about a half an hour before I must get up. The alarm beep sends me shooting straight up in the bed. I roll over and hit the snooze button at least twice before I manage to get my sorry butt out of the bed. All I really want is to catch a few ZZZZ’s which seems like an elusive dream.
If you come to my house early in the morning and a growling bear answers the door, it’s only me, pre-coffee, and I really don’t bite!