O Sleep, Where Art Thou?

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we’d all sleep in toasters. ~Author unknown, attributed to Jim Davis

I’m not a morning person, at least not before at least two cups of coffee! Once upon a time, getting up in the morning was much easier than it is now. Then Father Time whacked me upside the head, and I’ve never been right since.

I was not prepared for the lack of sleep parenthood brought with it. I couldn’t wait for my first born to start sleeping well. Little did I know that 10pm to 5am was exceptional for a newborn. I figured that out when I had my second son. This one woke every few hours for the first couple of weeks before making it routinely through the night. I had no idea other moms REALLY weren’t sleeping.

When my children were small I slept soundly, probably because I was exhausted from chasing them all day! I wanted to keep sleeping long after the alarm clock of pitter pattering little feet woke me up. I could even go back to sleep after they tired of bouncing on my bed. Eventually, I devised plans to secure another hour. I left milk cups waiting for them on the lowest shelf of the refrigerator. I set cereal, bowls, and spoons on the table. I even had a couple of hours of “Sesame Street” taped to buy me more time. Then they tired of Burt and Ernie and started to get into things…I was no longer allowed to sleep with one eye open unless I was prepared to walk into the living room to find tampons shot all the living room. In case you don’t know, they make perfect missiles for GI Joe’s jeep.

When the boys finally hit the age they liked to sleep in, my body was ready to rise early. Now how fair is that? I’d sacrificed sleep forever. It was no longer interested in catching those sheep I’d chased for years. Back then I thought it was because internally I knew how much I needed to get done in a day and my body forced itself awake. WRONG! It was that damn Mother Nature. She joined forces with Father Time, and they were out to get me big time! And they have not stopped since…

Truly, the two of them are trying to make my life miserable. My children are grown. My dog has the bladder of Lake Superior. Hubby can sleep deeply, at least after I’ve stopped snoring! There is no earthly reason for me to rise before the sun. I sleep soundly for the first four hours…then some sort of inspiration hits. However, I refuse to get up while it is still dark, even if I have the most incredible words EVER rolling through my head. (I’ve come to realize by actually following through that it is only delirium running through my head, not the next great American novel!) I resort to clock watching until I fall asleep about a half an hour before I must get up. The alarm beep sends me shooting straight up in the bed. I roll over and hit the snooze button at least twice before I manage to get my sorry butt out of the bed. All I really want is to catch a few ZZZZ’s which seems like an elusive dream.

If you come to my house early in the morning and a growling bear answers the door, it’s only me, pre-coffee, and I really don’t bite!

This is my entry for Living Out Loud, Vlune 28: Sweet Dreams 

41 thoughts on “O Sleep, Where Art Thou?

  1. Oh, a Grumpy Gus, eh?

    Sleep is my bestest friend . . . but I stay up too late too often. I need to make more of an effort to get to bed before midnight.

    Happy Mother’s Day!
    Press the snooze alarm as many times as you want tomorrow.

    • I am until I get some coffee in me! No alarm today…someone else’s alarm woke me up and I couldn’t get back to sleep! Happy Mother’s Day to you as well!

  2. I wonder why most of us need coffee first thing in the morning. I’m not sure I really need it, but I know I want it. First thing. I enjoyed your post on sleep.

    I’ve always thought of myself as a morning person because I love mornings. I like to get up when the sun rises, but that doesn’t mean that I jump out of bed. Waking up has always been a challenge for me. I tackle it in stages, first one leg, then pull it back in and snooze… I coax myself out of bed.

  3. “I was prepared to walk into the living room to find tampons shot all the living room. In case you don’t know, they make perfect missiles for GI Joe’s jeep.”

    Bwhahahahahahahhahahaha!

    OMG….that was HILAROUS!

    “I’m not a morning person, at least not before at least two cups of coffee! ”

    Me neither, Suzi! So listen, if I ever come to your house in the morning, I promise not come until early afternoon. And I’ll bring some coffee!

    HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, my friend!

    X

  4. After the birth of my first child, my son, I felt like I never again got enough sleep. John slept through the night almost from the first night home. I fed him about 11 PM and he slept till 6 AM. I was exhausted, but had no idea he was amazing in his schedule. My second child, Sheila, was much the same. But before kids I slept until noon on Saturdays and Sundays. Now, I stay in bed till 9 AM, because I can. But I usually am awake by 7. I refuse to rise before nine. It’s just not civilized.

  5. When I was a student I slept for hours but once work started, I stopped being able to lie in. Now I wake up the same time as my alarm goes off in the week so annoying!

  6. I think tampons for GI Joe is incredibly inventive. You raised smart boys. See, what sleep brings? Brilliance.

    I am a terrible sleeper. Rarely do I sleep more than 5 hours and I don’t think it’s great. But I’m a wonder with the 5-minute nap.

  7. In college I could sleep until noon most weekends, but after I started working I acclimated into a morning person. I still love early morning, watching the sun awaken my world, hearing the birds chirping for their breakfast. Somehow, everything seems so crystal clean in the mornings. I do pity folks who can’t get a decent night’s sleep, though — must be awfully frustrating to toss and turn! Hope your Mother’s Day is lovely!

  8. It seems we usually crave the things in life we can not have. I well remember wishing to sleep in when my kids were small, and now I love getting up early, knowing there is so much I can accomplish in the extra hours. Sleeping in just doesn’t have the same appeal. Seems so unfair.

  9. Currently, I have an awesome sleep routine. My problem is inspiration hits around 11pm. But I force myself to go to bed anyway and surprisingly I fall asleep. I know, however, that very soon this will all be a memory. I will not be able to sleep through Lu’s baby being up in the night. I will force myself to stay in bed and let her do it herself though. Hard as that will be. It’s gonna get all sleep deprived and cranky in here. Lol.

    ♥Spot

  10. When the kids were little, it didn’t so much matter how many hours of sleep I got, but I needed the time to be uninterrupted. If it was choppy, I was a mess the next day.

    Now, the older I get, the more sleep I want. I always heard that you needed less as you got older, but that’s just not true for me. Or I’m not really as old as I think I am. 😉

  11. This is funny. I’ve NEVER been a morning person, but I’ve never been one to sleep in forever either. I love to get up early , and I’ll happily do yoga with the sunrise when I wake up on my own. But, please, for the love of God, don’t wake me up! I’m not nice about it, according to my mother. She bought me my first alarm clock when I was 8 because she was sick of me being a “B” to her when she woke me up for school. And also, even if I am awake, do not talk to me! Really. Do not expect me to have conversations with you until after 9 a.m. and coffee. Nothing before that is civilized! I have definitely been the bear answering the door early in the morning, so I know what you mean.

  12. Oh man, I wish I could sleep in too. My dogs wake me up. They have a clock in their stomach! I don’t mind as long as it’s light out. Plus, I can usually drink a cup of coffee and go back to bed. HA.

    Too funny about the Father Time and Mother Nature conspiracy! 🙂

  13. I have self feeders and self waterers for the kitties and 2 litter boxes but they still insist on waking me at 5AM almost every morning because they want to go outside!

    And I don’t think you are grumpy in the morning…no more than me before my coffee!

  14. Pingback: … in a Bottle » Blog Archive » Recap of Living Out Loud 28: Sweet Dreams

  15. I used to sleep through the night, but no longer. If I have words in my head I often get up and write them down. That usually helps me go back to sleep.

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