“The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. We live in denial of what we do, even what we think. We do this because we’re afraid. ~Richard Bach
To a degree, denial is a coping mechanism. As long as we don’t face whatever the ugly truth is, it doesn’t exist in our minds. We deny truth because we don’t know how to deal with it. Or maybe, we just don’t want to deal with the situation.
We often have an inkling that something is amiss, but avoidance is much easier than dealing with issues head on. If the consequences are life-altering, we’d rather stay within our comfort zone as long as we can. It might be a problem at work or home or a situation involving someone we love. We might not want to experience the pain or discomfort that confrontation can bring. Most likely we are afraid of the changes that will happen in our lives. We tend to think life is simpler when we continue as we are. Sometimes waiting makes things worse as tension builds in the relationship and time accrues damages.
We want to stick to our own agendas, not what we think life is throwing at us. We’re afraid of what others might think. We are not ready to see things for what they are. Maybe, we don’t have faith that we will get through the consequences. When we deny truth we do not live in reality, we live in a fog, a haze.
Denial seems safe when we don’t know how to cope with truth. We are overwhelmed with possibilities of what might happen. We alter, exaggerate, or disregard facts. We don’t want our lives to be disturbed or disrupted from our normal routines. We feel threatened by confrontation. We are insecure for our futures. We repress our feelings. We act as if nothing is wrong, and it eats away at us.
I have snuggled up to and held steadfastly to this thing called denial. There have been times that I haven’t wanted to face facts about other people, but I also have not wanted to admit my own motives for choices I have made. I”m not sure if it’s harder to find that someone close to you is not at all who you thought them to be or to acknowledge your own fallacies. I have also known people to deal with obstinate circumstances and come out stronger than ever.
It is human nature to try to escape reality at times. The safetly of denial is short lived. Benerally, the longer we wait to confront reality, the more difficult the situation becomes. The upside is we usually prove to be more resilient than we give ourselves credit.
“Sometimes denial has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn’t change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It’s not just a river in Egypt, it’s a freakin’ ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?” ~Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anantomy