“In a world full of givers and takers, winners give what it takes!” -Author Unknown
It’s not up to the World to take care of you, but up to you to take care of the World.
These words are from my heart to my mouth. I strongly believe this. These words can pertain to many different areas of life from relationships, recycling and saving natural resources to taking responsibility.
I find I say and believe many things, but sometimes feel like a fraud. I say that I am tolerant, nonjudgmental, and compassionate. Yet, I find myself contradicting my beliefs and statements. While I feel that the system should be there to help those in need, I get angry at those who abuse “or tweak” the system.
I can usually let these things roll off my back. Then, I find out someone that I know is doing it, and I am no longer tolerant, nonjudgmental, or compassionate. When there is a name attached to the abuse, it makes it real, and I am less tolerant. Throw in a familiar face, and my judgment kicks in and compassion disappears. Maybe, I wouldn’t be quite as harsh if I didn’t know people who take from me and not only ask for more but expect it.
I am shocked to find the extent of benefits provided to some people; and often to people who are perfectly able to perform these tasks on their own. Every non-needing person who receives unnecessary benefits takes a way from someone who actually needs them. There are elderly and physically impaired people who need and deserve benefits and can not receive them due to freeloaders. There are people who expect the world to do everything for them. They are sponges. It amazes me how some people slip right through the radar and are magically eligible for services, while people in much dire need are denied. Maybe sly skills on the part of the recipient? Maybe lack of training for the person who decides these things? Maybe just a flawed system?
And again, I repeat….I do not have a problem with those in need receiving services. Nor do I have a difficulty in assisting those in need. I have a problem with people who are takers and manipulators and expect all to be given to them. These are people not thankful for what is given them, but want to know when their next handout will be. Don’t think these people do not exist because yes, they do. Otherwise, I would not be annoyed enough to be up on my soapbox.
“My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.” ~ Marlo Thomas
It seems that much of society can be categorized into two groups, the givers and the takers. The key is balance. It feels good to give your time, energy, money, or services when you know the recipient is grateful or that you fulfilled a need. I enjoy helping others, but I dislike being used or manipulated.
I have an elderly friend that I often help, and she is ever so grateful. It warms my heart to do for her because she is appreciative and doesn’t expect me to do these things. Sometimes, she wants to do something in return like cook for me. I have learned to be a gracious acceptor. Her ability to give back to me is contingent on how much she will allow me to do for her. When I deny her the opportunity, I see the hurt in her eyes. In allowing her to reciprocate the kindness, it puts us on an even playing field. I know that sounds silly, but often the elderly are too proud to accept help when needed unless they can do something in return. While I feel I have always had a certain amount of compassion in my heart, I am only beginning to see with it.
I used to think that people were born to be either givers or takers, but that really isn’t the case. I was born the youngest of six children; therefore, I was born a taker. Everyone did for me most of my childhood. Somewhere in life, I was shaped into a giver. I honestly can’t pinpoint when it happened. I am guessing that motherhood turned me into a nurturer. I am much more comfortable giving than receiving, but when it’s necessary for me to take, I will accept graciously.
If those of us who are able will be responsible enough to take care of our own little corner of the world, maybe we’ll all sleep a little better at night.
Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do. ~ Irma Kurtz Cosmopolitan Magazine, September 2003