Sleeping is no mean art: for its sake one must stay awake all day. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
There is no denying that I am a person who loves to sleep. That is until recently. I still love to sleep; it just doesn’t like mingling with me these days. It tries its best to evade me. It seems that the older I’ve gotten, the less sleep I need. I find this a shame as I miss my days of slumber.
I was always the first person to fall asleep at slumber parties. I used to also be the first one up as I used to be a morning person. That was once upon a time, that is. I remember those days of nodding off and trying my best to hold my eyes open. Now, this only happens if I sit down to watch a movie. Even if it’s a good movie, I am sure to fall asleep before the ending. Now, if I got up and went to bed, I’d lay there awake for hours just waiting for the Sandman to sprinkle me.
My husband used to work out of town at times, and I hated night when he was gone. I used to fear every creak I heard. I envisioned kidnappers, burglars, and rapists. I just knew someone was coming after the kids and me. When he was home, it was everything I could do to outlast the kids.
Somewhere through the years that started to change. As my kids got older and turned into night owls, the nosey and worrisome mother in me came out with a vengeance. However, they got to sleep in the next morning. My body clock changed and I started waking up early. I hate it that my body doesn’t want to sleep in because my mind really does!
At one point I was only getting a few hours of sleep a night. I thought my insomnia was due to hormones or other some physical ailment. My doctor attributed it to being the mother of teenagers. Eventually, I forced myself to come to peace and let go of control.
Most days, I stay up until eleven, midnight or later. However, if I am over stimulated, my system shuts down. A rush of adrenaline used to make me giddy. Now, it completely exhausts me, mind, body, and soul. I never realized I had a party pooper reputation outside of my family unit about eight years ago. I recall that on a retreat I went on some of the women were planning a late night beach walk, and one of them remarked that I’d never be able to stay awake that late. I was highly offended. It was true; I fell asleep before they left!
Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it’s time to get up. ~Author Unknown
Recently Dirt Man had to be out of town for a few days. I could not sleep. This time it was not due to fear of anyone getting in the house. I just can’t sleep alone now. I need his warm body and to be able to throw my leg over him. Hey, who needs a body pillow? Besides, I even tried that, but it didn’t work. And the dog wasn’t having any of it…she likes the whole bed to herself! I watched the clock all night long, hour after hour. Of course, I fell asleep just before I had to get up! I thought of so many things to write about and they all disappeared with the ringing alarm.
If a man had as many ideas during the day as he does when he has insomnia, he’d make a fortune. ~Griff Niblack
My brothers and sisters used to sing “Wake Up Little Suzie” to me when I’d drift off at inappropriate times or if they just wanted me to get up in the mornings. They’re so used to me falling asleep early, to this day they’re weary of calling me after nine at night, though I assure them that I am always up well past then. Every once in a while, Dirt Man belts this out to me as well. What can I say? I really want sleep to be my friend; I sure miss him!