Live Intentionally, Leave No Room For Regrets

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

Do any of us really want to die with regrets? Worse yet, do we want a loved one to die without having made amends? If you have been stubborn, selfish, greedy, or treated the other person wrongfully, what have you gained?

Sometimes, limited contact or detachment is necessary in situations. I am speaking of circumstances created by insensitivity and pride. I am talking about relationship disintegration due to egotistical greed and the failure to compromise.

How thick is that wall between you? Can you just tear it down? Do you need to remove it brick by brick or board by board? Do you need to enlist the help of others? Whatever it takes, I’m sure it is not impossible.

 “It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride.” `Unknown

Is it that difficult to apologize? Do you have the opportunity to make amends while both of you are healthy and coherent? A person’s dying hours should be surrounded by those he/she loves. If you wait until the other person is dying, it is most likely only conducive to lessening your guilt. Please don’t put off reconciliation. You might be missing many years of love and laughter together.

I have seen greed rip families apart. It is nasty. They’ve thrown away years of relationships all over money, land, and tokens of memory. Sadly, it’s usually the one who is getting the better end of the deal that ostracizes the other. Is it out of guilt? Petty quarrels between loved ones should not be left to escalate into dissolution of family.

Is there anyone you have cut from your life? Has anyone cut you from his/her life? Is he/she at fault? Are you at fault? Does it really matter who is at fault? Are you willing to forgive or be forgiven? Are you ready to start anew? Please, I beg you not to waste another day. Reach deep within yourself and find the love you once held for that person. Love doesn’t just disappear. Love is cleansing and forgiving. Love heals.

 A Native American grandfather talking to his young grandson tells the boy he has two wolves inside of him struggling with each other. The first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness. The other wolf is fear, greed, and hatred. “Which wolf will win, grandfather?” asks the young boy. “Whichever one I feed.” is the reply. ~Native American Proverb quote

27 thoughts on “Live Intentionally, Leave No Room For Regrets

    • Cindy, They did come straight from my heart and very difficult to put in a general statement. Results of greed and pride are devastating and sometimes irrepairable unless forgiveness is offered and accepted.

  1. I can’t remember ever reading a post on forgiveness that is more powerful than this one. This post is written with so much power, wisdom, and truth. Holding something against someone is very danagerous to your own peace within. I am so thankful that today I can say I have peace in my heart and I love every body no matter who they are or what they have done. An excellent post Suzi one I am sure will reach the hearts of many readers.

  2. Very well said. There does come a point in certain situations where you simply have to realize that you have done all you can. In the end if the other person doesn’t want to try and resolve any issues between you there isn’t anything you can do.

  3. I think what you said about sometimes limited contact or detachment is necessary and this is true in a family situation I am dealing with right now. Yes, you can and should help someone you love, but you can only do that when they are willing and ready to help themselves.

    • I read your post yesterday and agree that limited contact in your situation is probably best. I am also at that point of detachment is cases where I am no longer willing to help those not willing to help themselves.

  4. You GO, girl!

    There is so much in this post that I learned while my father was dying. I was fortunate enough to have had the time with him that we were able to put closer on our past. And it was through love and forgiveness, that we both grew. I will forever be grateful for that experience.

    Thank you for sharing these words today, dear lady. You ROCK!

    (((( Suzie ))))


    • Linda, sometimes no contact is better. My main point is that if there is a feud that can be forgiven and worked past, it is better to do it while both parties are alive and coherent. It should not be a deathbed apology.

  5. Love heals….love is more powerful than hatred, we just have to keep reminding ourselves to choose love…it is certainly the only wolf to feed. Great post and great quotes! thanks for sharing. Heartspell

  6. I agree that people do cut each other out of their lives in anger, but sometimes it just happens. I think that people cut others out of their lives ‘cuz they’ve found someone or something “better.” At least in the many instances which I’ve seen in my life. I do understand and appreciate what you are saying, though. When it comes to family members, we want to do better to keep them around in our lives–not lose them over petty little things. Those are great quotes!

  7. Beautiful post, Suzi. I loved it. It’s so true – I feel that even though there’s so much wrong with the world, on an individual level, most of us have the capacity, want and need for love, and if we can only give it to one another and share it – well, things would look a whole lot better. I know, I know, where’s the cynic that is me?? It’s late, so I’m sentimental and sappy, but truthful nonetheless.

  8. Wow! I felt this was written with a specific situation in mind. My heart goes out to you that you (appear: to be/)have been in this situation. Sounds as if you learned and you are opening your heart to help others.

    Thank you.

  9. Of those closest to me i do not bear grudges or provoke then intentionally.
    Of those who have never really been my friend or friendly to me, quite frankly i couldn’t care less.
    And i know that sounds harsh.
    But if someone hasn’t given me a reason to care for or love them, i don’t.
    On saying that i would not want to lose someone i love on bad feeling.
    So i always try to settle the dispute there and then. It all depends on whether they want to listen.
    You do have a way with words and it’s all very wise.
    I think various things in my life have made me man who is very careful to trust and love.
    I have experienced mostly the bad in people.
    And myself

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