Rejected Again, Maybe Gym Beau Is Just A Bimbo!

Good bye, Gym Beau! We have parted ways. Or so were my intentions.

He made me sweat. And say bad words. He was a pain in the butt. And every other muscle I own.

He made me feel guilty and inadequate. He was a bully.

I tried and tried to be his friend. My goodness, I even gave the dude a name.

He continued to stare at me, menacingly. Even from under the coats, I could feel the glare burn to my bones. He never let up. I always knew he was there. Just waiting. Waiting to make me hurt for more.

Now, he’s gone. Or so I’d hoped, to be some other woman’s toy.

I hoped he’d be seen for his real worth, more than just a coat rack.

Dirt Man and I set out to drop him off at his temporary home, the Goodwill Orphanage where we hoped he’d only have a short stay before being adopted. Our hopes and dreams were shattered as the “Donation Lady” glared at Dirt Man through the sweaters on her teeth and growled, “We don’t do exercise machines!” Dirt Man thought to himself that she looked like SHE didn’t do exercise machines. Dirt Man’s wife also looked like she didn’t do exercise machines…hence the visit to the Goodwill Orphanage. Apparently, there is a recall on the Gazelle, so they weren’t allowed to accept it.

Come on, I admit Gym Beau is dusty and dirty and I really should have given him a bath, but really to deny him entrance…we know you just have an aversion to exercise equipment. Gym Beau isn’t the same model. You were mistaken. He doesn’t even have pistons. But I’ll bet he’s pistoned at you for rejecting him. A guy can only take so much rejection in one day!

Dirt Man agreed to go to the mall with me. Uncharacteristic of him, he must have really been upset about bringing Gym Beau back home. Maybe, he was afraid that I’d suddenly fall in love with Gym Beau and spend all my time with him. Dirt Man informed me that maybe the reason Gym Beau and I failed to get intimate was that Gym Beau was indeed a bimbo. As a matter of fact now that he mentioned it, “Gym Beau” did seem to warm a bit more to him than me. We parked at the rear of the mall in hopes that someone would steal Gym Beau off the back of the truck. We shopped and ate lunch to allow the thieves time enough to get away. When we returned, devoted Gym was still there…waiting. Where are all the dishonest people when you need them?

So, we stuck Gym Beau in the corner of the yard with a note attached. I said a little prayer and took off for the book store, hoping old Gym would be gone when I got home. Six books and eighty dollars (good deals on those books!) later, Gym Beau was still patiently waiting for me. Did God not hear my prayer? Or have I not been a good girl? Or was it a sign? Or maybe a clear message that I REALLY need to get to know Gym!

We had one last rendezvous. NOT!

As I type this Gym Beau continues to sit forlorn at the edge of the yard, pleading me to take him back in. What do they say about getting stuck with things/animals when you name them?!

You may read my previous posts about Gym Beau here and here.

*****UPDATE: Gym Beau just got a home, YAY! A very pretty and nice lady just stopped by and asked me if I was sure I wanted to get rid of him because it REALLY works. She already looked good, so I can tell she will be devoted to him. Made me want to be motivated…but who am I kidding? We all know I’m too lazy!

34 thoughts on “Rejected Again, Maybe Gym Beau Is Just A Bimbo!

  1. Oh what a wickedly funny tongue in cheek post!
    One Saturday a month our council come and collect large items that you want to trash but which don’t fit in your cart. We have done this several times and each time several people have come knocking at the door on that Saturday morning when they see our unwanted items waiting for pick-up, asking if they can have them. These people drive around all morning in the area being collected from that Saturday looking for things for their home and/or to sell. If you have such a trash service just leave Gym Beau out there the next time it occurs, I am sure he will be gone before the end of the morning!

    • We have large pick up items on Tuesday, so I will call Monday. Usually when I call, by the time they arrive on Tues the item has already been picked up by someone!

  2. That is TOO funny! I have a treadmill that probably needs to go as well but I paid way too much money for it to even suggest it to my husband. I’m sure someone will rescue poor Gym Beau.

  3. LoL This is a fun write sweetie, even if poor Gym Beau didn’t find a home. I do hope someone will need him. I like working out with DVD’s they don’t take up much room. Just did my mile walk and workout with Leslie Sansone in the middle of my living-room. Just popped the DVD into the computer and good to go. LOL I was just telling my sister on the phone that I may go for another mile walk before taking my bath and washing my hair. hehehehehehe Anyway, I hope you do find a good home for Gym Beau, he will do miracles for someone. LOL

    • Yes, I am now just walking or biking…I would resort to working out to DVD’s but am a fraid someone will walk i on me and get a really good laugh!

  4. I take it you found a new coat rack! Where will you pile clothes when he is gone? I loved my treadmill, but needed it in an airconditioned room with a large tv and no kids watching me.

  5. suzicate, I forgot to ask, and perhaps it is too late, have you call the Salvation Army. In most states they will pick up whatever you are giving away.? Just a thought.

  6. I think it’s a GOOD thing to set Gym Beau free. It was born to be wild [after all, it’s a Gazelle, right?] and I wish that it will find a good home to be wildly used by someone.

    I laughed so much reading this post… who knew it’d be so darn difficult to get rid of an exercise machine??

  7. Susziecate, this post was HYSTERICAL!!!!!

    LOVE the title!

    I was laughing my butt off through the whole thing!!!

    Please tell Dirt Man this was a riot….

    “Dirt Man thought to himself that she looked like SHE didn’t do exercise machines. ”


    So glad to hear Gym Beau found a new home!


  8. I was going to suggest using Gym Beau to hang pots of pretty flowers on, then read that he’d found a home. It’s good – you need him to be gone so you don’t have to deal with his glaring at you for neglect. And the nice lady will give him a good home, I’m sure of it. Like any other pet, Gym Beaus require a specific kind of home.

  9. very funny and so true of most home gym equipment. I find going to a gym or just using the sidewalk or the park more effective for me. But those things do make great places to hang clothes and create decorative eye sores. I am sure he is much happier in his new home.

  10. HA! You are hilarious.

    Most people have to find something they love to do (some form of exercise or movement) so they can stick to it.

    Gym Beau never had a chance to be a part of your life because you didn’t even LIKE him. Poor Gym Beau.

    Is it gone? One of the comments made me think someone took him?

    • Yes, I went back and added an update. A lovely woman stopped by and asked me if I was sure I wanted to get rid of him. She reminded me that they cost about $350 and REALLY work. She had one and gave it away when she moved here and wanted another one. I was happy for her to have it…SHE REALLY WANTED HIM!

      • Ah-ha! I missed the update because I was reading from WP’s Blog Surfer or the e-mail I receive. I jumped to the comments.

        Yay! You got rid of him AND you made someone really happy. How cool is that???

  11. This piece is full of many clever puns. The name “Gym Beau” is just too funny. lol “Where are all the dishonest people when you need them?” Poor Gym Beau!

  12. It’s funny how many exercise equipments end up as coat racks! Out of the dozen or so people that I know that have some kind of equipment, only one person actually still uses it. LOL!

    So glad it found a new home.

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