To Love Or Lust, That Is The Question

The most violent appetites in all creatures are lust and hunger; the first is a perpetual call upon them to propagate their kind, the latter to preserve themselves. Joseph Addison

The human race hungers for money, power, sex, and fame. They are driven by desire. Some will stop at nothing to get what they want. They will lie, cheat, and steal to win the prize. Some even kill for it. Once they acquire their fortune, authority, notoriety, or object of affection, are they satisfied? Or do they just hunger for more? For bigger? For better? Do they require new and improved? Do they want to trade what they have in for a better model?

Society drives people crazy with lust and calls it advertising. ~John Lahr

The advertising industry takes full advantage of society’s adulation of lust. Companies try to make you believe that if you wear certain brands of clothing or use certain products that you will look like movie stars, move with the prowess of athletes, or that you will always win the girl or guy. Apparently ,most of all, sex sells. Really, when did yogurt get sexy? Have I missed something? They try to boost their hamburger sales with women in bikinis and high heels eating their big juicy dripping burgers and licking the sauce from their lips. Really, how many of you ran out and bought a burger because of some half dressed chick on your television screen? Ok, and I really want to know how many of you were sold on the Reebok’s EasyTones because of the boobs talking about being jealous of the butt looking so good? If you don’t know what I’m talking about go to Youtube and search it. And how many of you bought a particular car just because you were assured having THAT car would get you the girl, the job, and the good life? I’m going to quit right here because I could write my entire post about the advertising industry!

Love begins with an image; lust with a sensation. ~Mason Cooley

Love first stirs in the heart. Lust, well, let’s just say the heart is not where it first stirs! While I believe that a good marriage should be based in love, I also feel that it takes a fair amount of lust as well to sustain it and keep it healthy. I also get annoyed at my husband when he looks at a teenager who swooning over love and shakes his head and declares it’s lust. Where is the romance in that? I remind him that we married young. And he’s not the only one I hear saying that. Yes, society does push kids towards sex at much earlier ages, but emotions have not disappeared from our hearts. Young people are still capable of falling in love. Even in today’s society. Yes, I am a fool for love. Young, middle, or old doesn’t matter. Love wins hands down. Beats the hell out of lust any day. You build trust and relationship on love. What’s there to build on lust, except sex? And how far does that really get you in this world? Happiness from lust is fleeting. Happiness from love is eternal.

Love grows. Lust wastes by Enjoyment, and the Reason is, that one springs from an Union of Souls, and the other from an Union of Sense. ~William Penn

47 thoughts on “To Love Or Lust, That Is The Question

  1. I once read C. S. Lewis’ comment about, when creating an image of a bunch of men sitting in a circle, and cheering loudly when a large plate of bacon was lowered in front of them, that this particular society would necessarily have a problem with bacon. This was one of your most poignant posts yet…..loved it. EFH

  2. I couldn’t agree more with the things you’ve said here. Well written, and you make some great points. Plus, I applaud you for thinking of something to write about when offered the subject of “lust,” because I have total writer’s block over it! :p

  3. Very well written indeed.

    But I don’t find lust to be fleeting at all. I believe it is a force to be reckoned with (and enjoyed), and it can endure, when combined with love.

    Optimistic? I don’t think so. Rare? Yes. Very rare, in my experience.

    • When combines with love, yes, enduring. Lust alone, enjoyable but not without love not worth a life investment. Love and lust combined…I really don’t know if it’s rare but when you get it, it is worth clinging to tooth and nail!

  4. What?! Eating that juicy burger won’t make me sexy? The boobs were lying? I’m crushed Suzicate. LMAO. Most commercials just make me laugh now days. People are ridiculous. Commercials prove it.

    I also defend young love wholeheartedly. I have never mocked or downplayed my teens emotions. We were 16 & 17 when we met and fell in love. Twenty two years later, we’re still here. Yet people who met and married in their 30’s are getting divorced. There’s something to be said for growing up together.


  5. Absolutely, love wins hands down for me. I have not had many romances in my life but all I have had started out as friendships first. For me, the lust comes after the love, not before.

    Beautifully written and beautifully said

  6. I love that you’ve incorporated these quotes into such a thought-provoking post. I used to work in the ad industry, and I never felt completely comfortable. I have experienced lust before and after love. And for me, it is most tremendous to continue to feel lust as love grows deeper.

  7. I love the quotes you chose.

    While I agree that ultimately Love is the greatest, I think lust can come in really handy during a relationship. (If the lust is between the ppl within the relationship of course.)

  8. Did you see the SNL skit about the Boombox? It was a funny spoof on lust.

    All your ad talk got me thinking about that. I don’t watch commercials so I wouldn’t know if I’d buy it. Haha.

    For me lust is getting mad at someone and not getting over it. Love is getting mad and being unable to stay mad.

  9. I wrote about the same burger commercial! And I think that these ads are giving society a dangerous slope on which to slip- what’s next? Naked ladies selling beer during primetime? OK- I’ll jump down from my soapbox because, like you, I could go on and on.
    I think that lust without love feels incomplete and wrong. Lust with love, though, whew! I love how you discussed the two!

  10. You ROCK, SC!

    Couldn’t agree with you more!

    “Happiness from lust is fleeting. Happiness from love is eternal.”


    And please don’t get “me” started on advertising, because I’m in the beauty industry and I think it’s appallling how certain beauty advertisements create false illusions.


    Wonderful post, SC!

  11. I think it must be the excitement of lust and the feeling associated with that excitement that makes so many people attached to it. Sometimes it’s so sweetly disguised.

  12. I just love your blog, you know that?

    I think if teens start the physical too soon, that’s what their relationship is based on. If they wait, it’s more likely to be based on love.

    Just a hunch..

  13. I feel so very fortunate that I have and still have both love and lust with my husband of almost 22 years. In fact, for me I believe I experienced these emotions simultaneously when I first dated my husband. I have never wanted, looked at or desired any other man since I first met him. I still look at him and think he is the most handsome…and wonder what he saw in me. We still hold hands and cuddle and have the deepest richest love. I feel so blessed and only hope my children will be fortunate enough to have the same kind of marital love.

  14. Give me sex to sell your product, and I probably won’t buy it. I’m old enough to know it doesn’t work that way.

    After two relationships based on lust (hindsight is a wonderful thing; initially I mistook lust for love) I finally decided friendship had to come first. When friendship grew to love with lust thrown in as an added bonus, I figured I finally had it right.

    Beautifully written.

  15. I don’t want to choose between lust and love. Then again…I’m in a very long term loving marriage. When the fight is there, or the dulldrums go thick, I count on the lust of how he sings “Sweet Carolina” or how he looks in a tool belt to remind me I’m nuts about him.

    Love is great for the big picture. Lust makes me stay day to day…some days. And I think that’s OK. It’s a good marriage.

    Thanks for making me think about it!

  16. One of my classes, once, we had this guy from an advertisement firm speak to us. It is unbelievable how much time and effort goes into an advertisement, especially to subtly add in a bit of sex.

  17. Happiness from love IS eternal!

    Some ads are just awful — as you say, the cheeseburger chick.

    I guess the best we can do is talk to our kids about how ads lie, and how real love will always be grand champion!!


  18. You are SO right. Just the other day, we went to a pizza place with arcade games. My sons wanted to play the “car racing” game. Watching over their shoulders, little bikini clad women were flashing the cards to tell them what lap they were on. Sigh. No more car racing for them for awhile.

  19. I love this post (and the quotes). It actually helped me understand lust just a bit more. You’d think I would already know aaalll about it at nearly 35…and I do, but you’ve given words to something I couldn’t differentiate well.

    It is so weird to ramble about lust to someone I don’t know. 🙂

    • I know what you mean this was such a hard subject for me to tackle. There are some things I just don’t usually talk about on my blog. It took me days to figure out how I was going to approach it!

  20. Awesome post SuziCate! Love your Nag post and decided to read more of your posts. Love combined with lust for what you love only adds more passion. It is wonderful. As for the advertising industry, sometimes it is insulting to see some of them. Painfully obvious..:)

    I will be coming back to visit your wonderful blog. 🙂

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