The Rooting Of My Muse

small cycle

“A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.” ~Unknown
My blog began because my friend Karal felt certain that I had things to say that people would want to hear. She was convinced I had a voice. I wasn’t so sure. Maybe, she was tired of my telling all my stuff to her?! I teetered back and forth with the idea, and with the help of a few glasses of wine and Karal doing all the technical work, The Water Witch’s Daughter was born.

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step
— Lao-tsu c. 604-c.531 BC
That first step was the hardest step. I started my blog mainly as a place to store some of my writing for my writer’s group. I never thought anyone would ever read what I wrote. And I had imagined that if people actually read my words, they’d laugh. Not because I was funny, but because my lack of talent would be perceived as a joke.

The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Once I started posting, it got me into the habit of writing daily. That was a goal I’ve tried to obtain for years. I never achieved it with Natalie Goldberg’s “Writing Down The Bones’ or Julia Cameron’s “The Artists Way”, and I had tried. Oh, how I had tried. And maybe it just works for me now because I feel after all these years I’ve settled into my soul and achieved that inner peace for which I’d been searching.
By writing every day, I think I’ve found my voice. I realize my moods change and my type of writing varies. Sometimes I’m serious, other times sarcastic. But mostly what I am is me. I’ve found the layers of me. I’ve learned that I am not one dimensional. I can not be placed neatly in a box because I’d be bursting out through the seams. I have learned to no longer conform myself to rules. I am letting myself develop at my own pace knowing that however it happens it is the right way for me. I can’t be anybody but me, and I’m learning that being me really isn’t such a bad thing after all.
Now, I have even expanded my writing. My first love is poetry. I have actually published some poems. Nothing major, just small anthologies. I’ve done a few short stories that I’ve never sent for publication. I started about five novels that I’ve never completed. Now, I’ve found an incredible interest in memoirs. This surprises me though it shouldn’t because I’ve always been a story teller.

You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
— Friedrich Nietzsche
Sometimes words tug and pull, and I can’t get them out. I struggle to find the perfect words to convey a feeling or situation. Those scuffles often exhaust me, and I want to shred the results. But I’ve found that those words are usually the ones that resonate with others. My emotions often confuse me as they ache in my heart, whirl in my head and then tumble carelessly all over the page. I fear that the end result will appear too bizarre to be taken seriously. Then sometimes the words rush out like a cool mountain stream. And those are the times that I feel at home with my heart.

“Birth is the sudden opening of a window, through which you look out upon a stupendous prospect. For what has happened? A miracle. You have exchanged nothing for the possibility of everything.” ~ William MacNeile Dixon
I never imagined the connection I’d establish with other writers nor the profound impact the words of others would have on my own life and writing. I love blogging, and shall continue. However, I have taken such an interest in it that I have let my other creative endeavors wait patiently as they have been stuffed into boxes. I desire to get back to art quilting for one thing. But mostly, I desire to do more writing than just blogging. I want to pull out some old manuscripts and get back to them. You guys have inspired me and helped me develop confidence. I think the time has come to roll up my sleeves and get to it. I have come to the decision to not post on weekends anymore. I’m going to use that time to enjoy my family, nurture myself, and do some writing that is not blog related. If I have words to share, I might post a quick thought or two. However,  I am seriously considering posting poetry on the weekends.  Otherwise, I’ll still be on here Monday through Friday. I look forward to many years of reading your blogs and exchanging ideas with one another. But mostly I owe you and want to thank you for giving me the courage to follow my heart.

If you’re curious about the title of my blog, see this “Daddy Was A Dowser”.

51 thoughts on “The Rooting Of My Muse

  1. I applaud your dedication, your honesty, and the heart you put into your writings. It has been a real treasure to find you and participate each day. I look forward to many more years. I think poetry on the weekend or even during the week is an excellent idea. You need a break for you.

    As you know, I don’t post every day. The days between are the only ones I have to visit other blogs and get things done. I hope to write for a long time. Like you, I have found my voice.

  2. So nicely put. I understand the struggle of trying to find the right words to convey a thought or feeling and grappling with it until you finally do. That’s killed a few posts of mine. 🙂
    You’re linked and your “voice” is beautiful.

  3. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step
    — Lao-tsu c. 604-c.531 BC
    I think you should tweak this for your own saying “Suzi’s journey of a thousand words began with a single glass of wine” LOL
    I am so glad you got back to writing and you are a constant inspiration to me!
    Love you.
    Peg

  4. Ah, your discipline is inspiring! I wish I could write every day–I do write MOST days, but some days, when I’m just not feelin’ it, I just can’t face the futility! 🙂

    Never could do Writing Down the Bones/Goldberg method either!

  5. I’m glad you found your ‘voice’ – often such a thing can take a very long time and in the intervening years there can be uncertainty, but when it happens, when one feels confident and content to let that ‘voice’ emerge in a natural way, without pushing or prompting, it’s a wonderful feeling.

    I love your post. A lot of wisdom emerges through your words, starting off with:

    re. “A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.”

    a true friend will believe, will encourage, will say “Don’t give up. You can do this, you have talent, I believe in you!”

    re… “By writing every day, I think I’ve found my voice. ….Sometimes I’m serious, other times sarcastic. But mostly what I am is me.

    ….this chimes with “To thine own self be true” and is so important and if it’s carried through to the best of one’s conscience and ability then one can feel better, more at peace with what one writes, knowing (as you say) that “mostly what I am is me”.

    I hope Angelia Sims will not mind me quoting part of her comment (thanks Angelia) …. I “borrow’ her sentence because it is so very apt and it echoes my thoughts about you and your wonderful creativity and sense of purpose and confidence and calm.

    “I applaud your dedication, your honesty, and the heart you put into your writings. ”

    Thanks,
    John
    🙂

      • Thank you Suzi… it is very inspirational reading your pages. I owe you.

        regarding ‘voice’ …. my own ‘voice’ is perhaps ‘seen’ more in my poetry but I have written, and still do write, stories and now started to post these in my blog

        I call myself a “writer”, but when I see the dedication and the sheer commitment in resources (time, effort, prioritising) of other writers, then it becomes clear to me that I am following in some ‘very deep footsteps“, so to say, and I have a great deal more to learn… but the reward is …love the learning process. 🙂

  6. Well, I’m pretty darn glad you started writing every day too, because it means I have something to read. Lol. But on a non-selfish note, I believe in you lady. I love your posts whether sincere or sarcastic, funny or touching. You have a beautiful voice. Respect that inner Fruit Loop.

    Go! Write! Win!
    ♥Spot

  7. Suzicate, you are such a talented writer, it humbles a lot of us (like me). You really are so eloquent and charming in word and style. I could read something of yours without your name on it and I’d recognize it. Such a treat to read! Thank you!

    • Thank you, upi are so sweet.”I could read something of yours without your name on it and I’d recognize it.” – Those words mean more to me than you will ever know. And you are a treat to read!

  8. Brava, SC!

    Thank YOU!

    This post speaks for so many of us who start blogging for one reason and then somehow guides us to the “bigger picture.”

    Because of the social aspect to blogging, it can sometimes distract us from what we truly love to do….write. As you so beautifully shared, blogging is such an awesome medium in finding our voices and then perhaps taking it to another level.

    So, I think it’s wonderful that you’ve decided not to post on the weekends (which is also something I don’t do) or simply just post one of your poems.

    Please know that no matter where your journey takes you, I will be here reading. You’re an inspiration!

    It’s been pure pleasure getting to know you, and I look forward to your future endeavors!

    You GO, girl!

    X

  9. I can’t imagine posting everyday . . . . well, I could if I were posting mainly happenings and stories. There is ALWAYS a happening or a story to tell, but . . . my blog is supposed to be about health and wellness and while I think of a heck of a lot of things to post about that I always find a ton on line about it already so then I decide I don’t need to post about that particular subject because it is already everywhere.

    So then I try to come up with something a little more original but still in the wellness vain and it is a struggle.

    I love that you are posting “you”—and you don’t have a defined “you”. That is what makes it such a GREAT read. Thanks.

  10. I like reading ur stuff, it’s fun 🙂 It’s also inspiring. U r very talented, and I think that u should send in those short stories. . . can we read them?

  11. “I realize my moods change and my type of writing varies. Sometimes I’m serious, other times sarcastic.”

    Truer words never written. LoL

    I am glad you started to blog. I am glad, because we are now friends, and I get to read all your wonderful thoughts, stories, and feelings. It’s been inspiring to me. And I know that without your “cheerleading” I couldn’t be where I am today.

    Thank you!

  12. Loved reading this post, since I’m just now starting to get to know you. I recently had to impose guidelines on myself too – no facebook/email/blogging on the weekends! Too easy to get sucked in, and too many other things slip through the cracks. I’m working on a book too, which is based around my blogs, but it’s time to keep my head in it during my free time so I can get it finished up. It’s so easy to get distracted! Besides the very important need for family time and me time, away from all the things I’m trying to accomplish online.

    Good for you for seeing that a change is needed, and for being able to make it. 🙂

    Good luck!

  13. I love this post. There is something in the discipline of daily writing – like brushing your teeth – that sets the day in a sort of balance.

    And it’s always interesting (and surprising) to see what comes out. Our many “layers” as you said. Yes!

  14. I haven’t read anyone else’s comments yet because I wanted to speak my own. You know that patch of moss in the woods, the one that is under a big old shady tree, but the leaves let the sun dapple through every now and again? That is what you are to me. You are that patch of moss in the woods … A place of comfort, of grounding, of being able to sit there and be one’s self and know all is right with the world, or if it isn’t, at least it is ok. I love this piece of yours probably more than any other because it speaks so well who you are and what writing does for you. “I’ve settled into my soul and achieved that inner peace for which I’d been searching.” Yes, you have, and you help me find that too. So glad you are back in my life, SuzeCate.

    • Karal, You just made me cry! I find I am doing much better now that I shut off the critic in my head and have you as my sounding board. Thank you. So glad to have you back as well!

  15. Wonderful post, SuziCate. I especially love this line: “I’ve found the layers of me.” I know exactly what you mean.

    And, like you, I have found that, in my love of blogging, I haven’t paid quite enough attention to my other writing. It’s hard when there aren’t enough hours in a day to everything we love, isn’t it?

  16. I’ve cut back to 3 times a week because I’m trying to work on my novel and you know how blogs eat time. I’m thinking of even less for the summer because then there’s the garden….if only the days were longer!
    So glad you blog…

  17. Good for you – making room for all your creative expressions is necessary to feel whole and balanced. (Last I checked, blogging doesn’t have any rules or deadlines, thank goodness!) So happy to hear you will be posting more poetry & maybe quilt pics?

  18. Hey Suzi,

    Very moving post, I started my blog as an outlet to write down my thoughts and opinions, writing things down has always helped me get through the tough times, to make a long story short I am happy you found your voice and began your blog, you were one of the first that made me feel I just might fit in, you introduced me to Karal and she is also one that has treated me well, Thank You for your thoughts, stories, inspiration, advise, and most of all your acceptance.

    Keep doing what you do because it is important, and spending more time with the family on weekends will just inspire you to write even more, a win/win situation in my opinion.

  19. Blogging is amazing, isn’ it? Blogging was what also got me finally writing every day and it helped me work out some of the kinks in my voice. I reread some old posts from my anonymous blog recently and I was shocked at the level of snark and self-loathing in the writing. I sure hope I’ve gotten it out of my system!

  20. I love your blog and the many different forms it takes on a daily basis. I could tell right away you are a writer…from the soul. It shines through on every post. I think you should pursue your manuscripts…who knows we may see you on Oprah and say to ourselves we knew you when. I love this world of blogging. It is a great way to connect to others and really feel an intimate piece of their voice and life come through. You have inspired me…I have trouble getting one blog out a week. I look forward to all you have to say!!!

  21. Count me among your supporters and fans. I think you have a great voice, or rather, voices. Well, even though you can be wickedly hilarious or contemplative or any number of tones, it all adds up to one very interesting and enjoyable read. Your blog is one of my favorites. I would love to read your poetry.

  22. I too struggle with finding the right words to describe what I am thinking. I would have never thought that you would stuggle like that, you write so beautifully.

    I had to make the choice of not blogging on the weekends, hubby said he missed me too much.

    I am so glad that you decided to start blogging, I have enjoyed your writing and hope to continue enjoying it for a long time.

  23. I loved the way you inserted the quotes into your post. Your writing is beautiful, and you really drew me in. I’m looking forward to reading whatever else you post here. I think it’s also a wonderful idea to take breaks on the weekends and take care of yourself, as well as maybe going back to your earlier projects!

  24. You sound like me. I was “persuaded” to start my blog and never thought anyone would read. I’m so glad you did, because you bless me.

  25. I used to post 7 days a week but not too long ago decided I really need to have at least a day that’s not dedicated to blogging just so I don’t miss out on the little things, particularly with Princess Nagger. 🙂 So Sunday’s are my day off and I’ve thought of making the whole weekend a non-computer weekend especially now that the weather is getting nicer. 😉

    I’m glad you found your ‘voice’ and that I’ve found you! 😉

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