What the heck are some people thinking when they name their kids? Do they really want them to get teased relentlessly or have their butts kicked on the school playground? Are they trying to make them tough or setting them up for failure?
Now, I do know of someone (my age) whose parents named her Marijuana. She had a rough time of it. Her teachers changed her name on all her school work to Mary Jane, and that is what she went by until she could legally change it. She did change it to an equally odd name, but at least it wasn’t an illegal substance.
I also know of sisters named Honey and Candy. Think their mama had a sweet tooth? By the way, they are the sweetest ladies you’ll ever meet! I couldn’t help but add that, and it is true.
When my oldest son was in second grade he brought home a classroom listing for the all inclusive valentine exchange. On this list were Orangejello and Lemonjello – I can’t remember the last names. I asked my son if it was some kind of a joke. He replied that they were pronounced ARONjello and LaMONjello (emphasis on capital letters), and they were twin boys. Now why the heck would anybody in his/her right mind name their kids orange jello and lemon jello? I realize that after childbirth one might not feel exactly like they are in their right mind, but come on! About a week after the Valentine party, I was scheduled for a routine parent/teacher conference and I questioned the teacher about the twins. She rolled her eyes and told me that she actually asked the mother why she named her kids those names. She said that the mom, who was quite proud of her ingenuity by the way, replied that she just couldn’t decide what to name them and she had to come up with something right then. So, she looked over at her lunch and made the decision. Imagine that…inspiration from a hospital food service try! Those kids should be about twenty-three now. I wonder about them on occasion. I hope they haven’t had a hard life because of their names, and I wonder if they legally changed their names as soon as they reached an appropriate age.
This past week I attended an Eagle Scout ceremony. At this event were many people that I don’t see that often, but know them well from our own kids childhoods. Some of these were teachers or personnel at the elementary school my kids had attended. We somehow got on the names people give their children these days. If these are true, Orangejello and Lemonjello got off easy. All I can say as that there are demented people walking around, some really sick senses of humor out there. The one that took the cake was pronounced Shatodd. This lady swears this is true and she nearly died when she had to call roll on the first day of school when she read the name according to the spelling. This was the poor kid’s name “Shithead”. I didn’t bother asking if it was a boy or girl…doesn’t matter ‘cuz with a name like that I’d think the kid is doomed. Wouldn’t you think that would be against the law. My husband says I’m too naïve and she had to have been joking. She swore it was true. Do you think she was yanking my chain?
Ok, I have to add as an after note that I just talked to my friend, Karal about this post. Shithead is real. The lady was not yanking my chain. Karal knows someone else who taught this kid (a boy, I just found out) at another school in this area. I mean, what are the odds of there being two Shitheads? Really, what were these parents smoking when they named their baby?