Romancing The Gazelle

I know I’ve told you all how I just loathe exercise. I’ve told you that I’m lazy. I’ve even told you all about my Gazelle. How we’re not friends. How we’re hardly even acquainted these days. You see, he has a new job. He has evolved into a coat rack. He’s pretty good at it, too. And while he’s great at that job and I really don’t miss him, I feel the need (not desire!) to get reacquainted.

And while I feel that Tony Little’s promises of “results, results, results” totally sucks, I realize it’s not the gazelle’s fault. I have to actually use him to get results. Gee, I sound kinda like a bimbo, don’t I?

Anyway, my strategy was to romance the gazelle. I thought that I could make it more personal by giving him a name. I thought of Richard…too boring. Pierre…not my style. Calvin…too comical. I was getting nowhere. Then, I decided to go red-neck-one-step-up! I came up with Gym Beau. You’d think that would do it, huh?

Dirt Man thought the idea of romancing Gym Beau was kind of silly and uhhhh perverted. But then again, I am not going to repeat our conversation or what he thought I was going to be doing with the gazelle. I’ll only tell you I snapped back with, “No, I’m not doing that; I’m just going to be riding him!”. Ok, ‘nuff said. Any suggestion on a name for him.

Let’s just say, we’re not getting to know one another very well. I have gone on one thirty minute date with him this year. I’m trying to find ways to spark up the romance, get me really into Gym Beau. The only thing I can think of to get me on him is to fill the water bottle holder with chocolate kisses, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll get on him long enough to eat all the chocolate.

26 thoughts on “Romancing The Gazelle

  1. Gym Beau? You crack me up. I love it! Hey if you fill the water bottle holder with chocolate kisses and the water bottle with wine that might be a combo to make you stay? Then you could go REALLY red neck and wear one of those hats with beer holders and straws so you don’t get dehydrated while you ride! hahahaha

  2. You are TOO much! Love your thoughts. I, too, am a huge hater of exercise. But once I can get myself into a daily rhythm of fast paced 2 mile walks, it becomes something I depend on to feel good. The problem is getting there. Once I fall out for a day or two…forget about it!! This is where I am now. Help, oh help.

  3. Such a curious perspective on physical exercise. “…I’m just going to be riding him” caused all kinds of things to pop into my head. Good thing it’s early. I will leave it to you to expand the subject; you are off to a great start, friend. EFH

  4. Haha. Every piece of gym equipment I’ve owned has become a coat rack. Now I’m paying for a gym membership and it isn’t much better, but I’m still trying!

  5. I hear ya. I went out to run errands and work out yesterday. Lingered too long in Chapters. Didn’t work out. I don’t even hate exercise that much, I just hate all the stuff that has to happen before I can exercise. What’s a gazelle?

  6. Gym Beau is spectacular and I personally vote for the chocolate kisses solution.

    I know I should be working out too, but that gym membership has done nothing more than inspire financial guilt. yay me. 😀

    Too bad THINKING about working out doesn’t count. I’d be ultra-fit right now.

  7. Hahaha! I should try that with the treadmill — chocolates in the cup holder. If only it wouldn’t “cost” me another 2 minutes of running for each Hershey kiss…

    🙂 Hilarious post!

  8. You are so hilarious! Gym Beau, Ha!!! If Gym Beau was better at his end of the deal, I’m quite sure you would ride him a lot harder and longer than you do now! 😉 I gotta say that the idea of chocolate may just work!

  9. Get a Wii Fit. Because being insulted while you work out is so motivating. Not. I just want to smack a ho!

    I’m horrible about working out. And if I miss a day, it turns into ten. I guess I just need more motivation. Have you tried doing a book on tape while you work out? Only let yourself listen while your riding Gym Beau and maybe that will prompt you to do it??

    Here’s to you and Gym Beau!

    • Now, that’s an idea, hadn’t thought of a book on tape. Tried music, but I find myself trying to igure how long each song is and how many frekin’ minutes do I have left?!

  10. gym beau is a great name.
    I googled tony little gazelle. it looks…………fun.
    i don’t think i’m coordinated enough though.
    we had a tony little exercise thing over 20 years ago and you hardly moved on it. i didn’t get it. made a good clothes rack like all the exercise things my wife has bought over the years, even one thing twice.
    i got no advice for ya. i’m a bad example.

    thanks for the comments on my blog.

    • It really doesn’t take coordination but it does take determination….I am just plain lazy and I don’t like boring!!!! And you are welcome. You are my 1000th commemter, you deserve a prize….would you like the gazellle?!!!!!!!!

  11. I hate exercise,too. The only time I do it is when I pay for a class and have to go because there’s the accountability factor. We’re going to try Wii Fit (once it is back in stock–sold out everywhere), but I’m going to need motivation.

    I think maybe shopping for a cute exercise outfit might be in order.

  12. Pingback: Rejected Again, Maybe Gym Beau Is Just A Bimbo! « The Water Witch's Daughter

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