I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me. ~Anaïs Nin
The topic is a resolution impossible to keep. Just one. Come on. There must be like a gazillion I’ve attempted and failed. I am an expert when it comes to NOT keeping resolutions. So therefore, almost anything is plausible.
We all know that the exercising and diet regimes ain’t going to happen for two reasons. One being that I am a lazy butt. Two being that I love food and anything to do with food.
Moving on…I’ve tried to give up various things for New Years and Lent over the years. Chocolate …well, there’s no way in heck that will ever fly. Caffeine…do you really want Dirt Man to have to deal with that? I vowed one year to give up Pepsi…my solution was to switch to Coke. Dirt Man called it a cop out. I called it saving his life. Besides, I didn’t vow to give up soda. I specifically said Pepsi.
I could step down from my soapbox. But if I did that, then what would I have to whine about? And I’d have too much time on my hands. I’d have to take up bingo or become a motivational speaker. Now, nobody wants that on their conscience.
I have considered restraining from snarkiness. But really, it’s an inherent part of my personality. Others would think some nice normal soul had taken over my body. Besides, that is the main quality I need to survive my extended family.
Hummm….I don’t have a shopping problem or an addiction to drugs or alcohol (Yet!), and I gave up Judge Judy ages ago. I’m not a big TV viewer, but I do like Grey’s Anatomy and House. And a few other shows. But would it be impossible to give them up? Nah, I could live without them.
Aha, the one thing I really MUST have is my morning French press. So, if I was stupid enough to resolve to give it up, it would be impossible. I love, love, love my caffeine. Almost as much as I love my Dirt Man. My morning coffee is my lifeline. If I am not at home, I will settle for whatever coffee I can get my grubby little paws on. But my preference is my French press and grinding my own beans. Yeah, we even tried roasting our own beans which turned out to be much too stinky and messy. But ,oh, the coffee was to die for!
Being New Years (even though my KPC topic was a resolution impossible to keep), I feel obligated to make some sort of resolution. I resolve to find the best in all people. Even those that irritate me. Even those that aren’t my favorites. Even manipulators and those that suck the wind right out of me. Even politicians. Ok, I take that one back.
I do think New Year’s resolutions can’t technically be expected to begin on New Year’s Day, don’t you? Since, because it’s an extension of New Year’s Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year’s Day isn’t a good idea as you can’t eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second. ~Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’s Diary