Skinny Dipping…NOT!

Simply Naked.

Nothing but Sea Salt.

Stacy’s Pita Chips that is…they are awesome! I am addicted.

Have you gotten your mind out of the gutter yet? You thought I was talking about skinny dipping in the ocean. Come on admit it. You did, didn’t you?

Trust me, no way that would be happening!

It’s way too cold!

And we all know I am not the skinny dipping type. I don’t know that there is exactly a type that skinny dips. I just know that I am not one who skinny dips.

We all know that I am fairly chicken. And somewhat pragmatic. I will try most things once… That is as long as it is not totally immoral. Or illegal. Or doesn’t involve heights. Or snakes. Or spiders either for that matter. And I could probably think of many of exemptions which in reality probably limits what I will actually do to quite a minimum.

Ok. So, actually, I’m kind of boring. But I like life that way. I don’t like surprises. And I by all means like to be prepared. For what? I don’t know…but I’m ready.

And well, skinny dipping? I’d be afraid someone would see me. Or a water snake would have it’s way with me. Or someone from a plane would be taking pictures to black mail me later. Or I’d get cold.

Don’t get me wrong I love the water. Ocean, river doesn’t matter. But I don’t do water sports. Except water bikes. Those are cool.

I tried water skiing (once and only once!) for the very first time at age 40.You must admit that it was quite brave of me. I received a full body enema and never attempted it again.

Let me tell you I never even made it on my feet. I immediately went bump, bump, bump skidding across the lake. Swoooooosh the water shot through every orifice (including the piercings in my ears!) in my entire body. I felt like I was on fire. Except with water. It felt like a slow trip to hell. I thought it would never end.

I’m fairly certain there’s a video floating around to prove my daring attempt!

I think I’ll drop my waterlogged thoughts and have another pita chip. If you haven’t tried them, you must. It’s much less daring than skinny dipping and much safer than water skiing.

8 thoughts on “Skinny Dipping…NOT!

  1. I’ve seen them, and been able to resist the temptation to buy them. Because I know that if I do, then I too, will be in love and they will get eaten all in one sitting…

    Thanks for making my next trip to the grocery even more painful!

  2. Simply naked chips are dangerous for would-be skinny dippers. They are sooo good, can make your body sooo big eating them (hard to stop), and then out with the naked dipping! I’ve never been skinny dipping and honestly wonder if the day will ever come for me. Musing on “will I get caught” is a big obstacle.

  3. “full body enema;” hysterical!
    I always wanted to try waterskiing, now I’m not so sure.
    We have a fenced in pool, so our first summer here, my daughters and I decided to skinny dip. A plane flew overhead from the local airport and it seemed so high up. So we flashed it. Then, months later, we took off from that same airport and flew over our house. YOu could see everything in pretty good detail. No more skinny dipping for me! Maybe in the dark…

  4. Okay, your attempt at water skiing? I don’t thing age matters. You just described what happened to me at age 13 when I tried to water ski. Ack!

    I like jet skis much, much better. Unless, I turn too sharp in choppy water, but I digress….

  5. I’ve been skinny dipping several times, and I look forward to hot, summer nights to do it again. I’ve done it in the daytime too, but that was when no one was home, and any neighbors who might have been home either couldn’t possibly have seen me, and the one who might have wouldn’t say anything because she likes to do it herself. It’s nice to live in a small, country town where most of the people aren’t self-righteous snoots that put others down for doing something they would do if it wouldn’t damage their better-than-thou reputations.

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