A friend forwarded the following to me in an email. I thought it was hilarious until I realized my mammogram was scheduled on Halloween day. Now, I am thinking if this happens to me it would be a real life Halloween horror story. If you don’t hear back from me…check the news!
“POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM
I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, ‘Hi! I’m Belinda!’
This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to
one side and crooned, ‘All I need you to do is step into this room right
here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?’ I’m
thinking, ‘Belinda, try decaf. This ain’t rocket science.’ Belinda skipped
away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished,
Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, ‘Hmmmm. Can you stand
on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?’ ‘Fine’, I
answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the
remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was
in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged
between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt
a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off! ‘Oh, maintenance is
working. Bet they hit a snag.’ Belinda headed for the door. ‘Excuse me!
You’re not leaving me in this vise alone are you?’ I shouted. Belinda kept
going and said, ‘Oh, you fussy puppy…the door’s wide open so you’ll have
the emergency hall lights. I’ll be right back.’ Before I could shout
‘NOOOO!’ she disappeared. And that’s exactly how Bubba and Earl,
maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me
dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging polite ‘Hi, how’s it going’ type greetings, Bubba (or
possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as
possible ‘Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.’ ‘You bet, take care’ Bubba replied
and waved good-bye as though I’d been standing in the line at the grocery
store. Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making
no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, ‘Oh I am sooo sorry!’ The
power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to
lunch. Are we upset?’ And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended
up between the clamps…”