The Case Of Static Braces

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While we were not the best behaved teenagers in the world, acting up at services was not acceptable. Knowing the most we’d get from my aunt was a stern look across the crowded hall and a light tongue lashing after the services we were not deterred  from falling asleep, talking, giggling, drawing, or getting up to go to the restroom or to get a drink of water. However, until this incident we had never been disrespectful.

The day had been hot and sweaty which was typical for August weather. Cindy and I had spent the day lying in the sun, listening to music, and spending our money at the general store on junk. One of our purchases had been Pop Rock candy. Our intent was to eat it on the school bus to annoy and elicit jealousy from those sitting around us.

We went that night with Cindy’s mom to their JW meeting. Our purses were crammed with gum, candy, pen, paper, hair brush, lip gloss, and all other supplies sixteen year old girls of our day needed. Our hair was curled, wings brushed back. Our lips were slick and shiny with pink gloss. Even though we hated wearing dresses, we still thought we looked hot. And just our luck, not a boy our age in sight.

We purposely chose seats on the opposite side of the room and many rows behind my aunt. A man my father’s age started the meeting with prayer and song and ventured into a talk. Not sure what it was about other than God. It didn’t take us long to get bored. We passed notes back and forth and whispered about the man-child in front of us. He was older than us, but not as old as the average attendee. He was probably in his early twenties and a bit dorky for our standards. He was over six feet tall and had feet the size of Big Foot. Of course, we weren’t interested in anything wearing a tie so we were quite entertained making fun of him.

Other than the monotone voice at the front of the room, all was quiet. Cindy pulled a pack of strawberry Pop Rocks out of her purse and tore off the top. Riiiipppp! The tear echoed over the only voice speaking. We ducked our heads down as she shoved the pouch to me. I shook my head no and pushed her hand back. There was no way I was going there. She bent down with her bible over the side of her face and dumped the entire contents of the packet into her mouth. Snap. Crackle. Pop. Add a sizzle and a fizzle and Rice Krispies had nothing on those babies!

“Shush!” The man-child turned around with his finger to his pursed lips.

Cindy giggled. I placed my hands over my mouth and put my head in my lap to stifle my laughter. I could not believe she was doing this, and I couldn’t have been more tickled. I envied her daring spirit.

Snap. Crackle. Pop. More sizzles and fizzles.

I looked up to see the angry glares of old women on each side of us. I slouched down further, waiting to be taken out with her.

“You should be ashamed of yourself. How can you be so disrespectful?” The man-child’s face glowed red beneath his steaming wire rim glasses. He pulled the white handkerchief from his front pocked and wiped the glasses.

“What do you mean?” Big blue eyes widened with innocence.

“You’re being disruptive.” He stared back at her.

Cindy batted her lashes. “I have static electricity in my braces.”

“Really? I’ve never heard of that.”

“Really. It’s so annoying, not to mention embarrassing.”

“Gee, I’ve never heard of that.” He swayed his head, his eyes popped out a bit, and his mouth rounded in an exclamation of wonder. He looked positively thrilled to have come upon a tad of newfound knowledge.

“I really can’t help it. I’d make it stop if I could.” His face whitened as he softened with pity.

Cindy continued shaking her head yes, and holding her hand over her mouth as if she was trying to shove the static down her throat. I rolled my eyes wondering where the heck she came up with that one.

Living in the Gap

March 1, 2012 – Rain and Rainbow of Balloons

My arm jerked back and forth as the rainbow of balloons pounded with the wind.Ping. Ting.Ping. Ting. Rain pecked away at latex and foil; yellow smiley faces in a turbulent rainbow sea. Not quite Mary Poppins since I was sporting balloons rather than an umbrella, I ran to the overhang at the hospital entrance using the balloons to shield myself from the downpour. Out of the wind and rain, I gathered my wits as the drops fell from the balloons and scattered across the beige marbled floor. Wet and with a happy heart, I continued encircled in swells of color and smiley faces. J