A Few Words From The Dog

It’s Wylie. I thought you might like to hear a few words about vacation from the dog’s perspective. When I saw my “peoples” were packing bags, I parked myself in front of the door. There was no way they were getting out of the house without me. The last time they left me it seemed like they were gone forever. I heard them say they were going to get a little rest and relaxation and I wondered why they had to go away to do it. I mean I sprawl out on the floor anytime, anywhere…my people just don’t know how it’s done.

We started out attending something called a “celebration of life”. Let me tell you. My peoples know how to celebrate. I especially liked that lady that insisted the dog (meaning me!) needed some food. It was so good. I can’t believe they’ve been feeding me that gross dog food. My peoples claim they spend a small fortune on my “organic gourmet” food. Well, I think they should start saving their money and just let me eat from the table! I enjoyed people food so much I finally started snatching food off plates that were left sitting around…that was until my mom caught me. Then I had to be a bit more sly. And they think I accidentally turned over a few beers…I discovered I really like the taste of it, even if it has a bit of dirt mixed in!

My people took off their watches so they could enjoy themselves. Who needs a watch in the first place? I live by my tummy! However, my people failed to realize that I was on vacation, too. I had to remind them. I stopped eating and then they started mixing their food in with mine so I’d eat…ha, I’m just a bit too smart for them sometimes! And when they thought I wasn’t drinking enough, they gave me Gatorade. I especially like the strawberry kiwi flavor.

I met some great new canine friends, too. First there was Chorizo. He kind of stole my limelight because he was so cute and a baby to boot. Then there was Tinky who was tiny and managed to hike Crabtree Falls with us, so she stole some of my stardom as well. But then I met Duffy. Now, he was a great friend. And more my size. We rolled and ran together. We became instant swimming buddies and played fetch in the water. His folks were thankful that I eased him into his first water experience, and my folks were pleased to find I’ve become a water dog! I mean how cool is it that you can walk and drink at the same time? I thought my people would finally catch on too , but they are really slow sometimes. I was a bit humiliated that my folks laughed at my “doggie paddle” swimming style. Really, what did they expect, after all I am a dog?

We climbed a lot of mountains. I’m not sure why they call it hiking. I call it running wild and free. I loved the smell of the grass in the meadow, so I rolled and rolled in it. I was hoping to rub some of it in my fur so I could carry the scent home with me. I tell you my peoples are really something. The woman whines all the time. She complains about bruises, cuts, and sore feet. She has no idea what real pain is. My paws have had it, but I never once complained. I led the way the entire time. In fact, if I hadn’t led the way who knows where the man and his handheld GPS unit would have led us. I don’t know why he brought that thing along when he had me. I mean he got us lost anyway, but I had his back and saved the day. Then he tried to blame me. I had run ahead and was on top of the water falls, and the man claimed we had to find another trail higher up because there was no way I’d be able to get back down and he couldn’t carry me…wimp!

All of that hiking, swimming, and river running blistered my paws. Do you hear me complaining? No, I’m typing you a note instead. I actually put that energizer bunny to shame. The folks got a bit worried about me when they saw my paws were red and irritated and I wouldn’t eat. They came home a day early just to take me to the vet. Man, have I got them wrapped. I love that place! The vet always says what a pretty, well behaved, and smart dog I am. I get accolades from everyone there. All the other dogs are barking their heads off, and I quietly sit and wait for good attention. The doc gave me some meds. The folks didn’t think I’d take them, so they wrapped them in cheese. Not only am I happy to eat my own “organic gourmet” food, but I’m still getting people food, too. Yes, I am a sly one. I hope they never catch on.

My paws are getting a bit tired, so I need to go. Besides, my meds are kicking in and it’s time for another nap…after all I woke up long enough to kick out this note. Sometimes, it seems like a dog’s day is never done, especially after getting home from vacation and there is so much sleeping to catch up on.