A Letter To Young Love

Dear Young Love,

I wish that I could say to you that love is simple or that I could share with you the secret formula for love. But, I can only tell you what I know from experience, from the trials and errors of my own young love as it has now developed into what is now termed as Mature Love.

First of all, if you are wondering if this love is the real thing, it probably isn’t. Real love is just something you know. You feel it heart and soul. Some say you know it because you can’t possibly live without one another. That is not true. You can exist, and so can the other person. The point is that you compliment one another’s lives. You each bring out the best in the other. And before you tell me that person makes you happy, let me tell you that first you must be able to find happiness on your own in order to share it with another. That is a big responsibility to put on another, for your sole happiness to depend on the other one and vise versa. Love is a partnership. It is not one-sided. If it is, you better run fast because uneven foundations always fall…eventually. Both must give one hundred percent.

Real love doesn’t usually happen at first sight, though sometimes it does. Just be sure not to confuse love with lust. That just takes identifying where the emotions are coming from.

Real love doesn’t compare to past love. It respects and accepts this love for what it is. Real love doesn’t threaten or place conditions on it’s existence. Nor does it provoke. It doesn’t keep score, and it doesn’t belittle, call names, cheat, or betray. But then again, humans err. I won’t say love is blind, but I will say that real love does let go of anger and forgives.

I often hear of those who think they are in love screaming of how they will fight for the person they want. The problem with this theory is that you can’t fight to “keep” what was never yours. They often don’t even know each other well enough to love one another…they are in love with the idea of love. Why would you want someone who doesn’t love you equally? You can’t force, demand, control, or purchase love. It is a natural given gift. It just happens, and with the right tools, one sustains it. It takes patience and time to blossom along the way. It requires help now and then. And that help, my friend, is called compromise. Real love is not selfish or self-serving. It is both honest and kind. Now if you do have real love, that is worth fighting for to the ends of the earth…but again that takes both partners to fight for it. That is what people do in that thing called marriage. They work together and fight all forces to remain together. You must be fearless and cling together with every ounce of energy that real love provides. Don’t settle for less than real love. It is not worth the pain it will cost you. Real love is worth waiting for.

Real love is not found in material objects. It can’t be measured in spoons or cups or even hugs and kisses; but it is there, strong and vibrant. Real love is lived and breathed. It doesn’t boast. It is evidenced in the way it speaks and the gentleness of it’s touch. The hardest concept for many is that real love is not jealous. Real love is loyal and trusting. It is resilient. Within real love resides peace. While real love may be the ultimate state of bliss, the road there is not always easy, and it still needs constant maintenance.

So, I say to you, Young Love, take time to grow. With maturity comes wisdom. You’ll learn along the way. And finally, real love is ALWAYS worth the risk. I wish that I could describe to you the beauty of young love growing into old love together, slowly step by step, day by day, year by year. I wish that I could tell you this and so much more but like a small child young love seldom listens.

Best Wishes from your friend,

Mature Love