Nannyisms

Nanny Moyer has been around the block a few times. She was born the oldest of ten children. Nanny has a few things to say about her life’s experiences. Whether you ask her or not, she’ll tell you.

Nanny might love you with all her heart, but one thing she is not is a liar. So, you better be prepared to hear about it if you do something stupid. Nanny is definitely going to give an earful. Like it or not…And she’s usually right. Actually, I’ve never known Nanny to be wrong.

I met Nanny when I was a small child. She was my best friend’s grandmother. I was in awe of her. I thought she was just a real sweet grandmother that was an amazing cook. I was even a little bit jealous because I wanted a grandmother like that. Anyway, the first time (sitting at her kitchen table) I heard her tell it like it was to someone, I almost choked on my food. I was shocked to hear her speak like that and tickled that I wasn’t the recipient. My respect for her grew ten times larger that day. I had often heard my own relatives say what they thought about situations but not usually by confronting it head on. I liked that you knew exactly where you stood with Nanny. I decided to make it a point to remain on her good side.

The way Nanny gets her point across is through old sayings or anecdotes. If you didn’t get what her words meant, you got her tone. After hearing them a few times, you finally learned their meanings.

Through Facebook, I reconnected with some of Nanny’s daughters who I also came to know through the years. One daughter, Hope, on occasion posts a “nannyism” as her status. A nannyism is a tidbit of Nanny’s wisdom. I contacted Hope and her sister Sherri and asked if they’d share a bit of those nannyisms with me to share with you. These are only a few of the many she uses. Nannyisms have almost become a part of their language.

1. If a person can tell a lie, draw a picture of it and NEVER crack a smile, stay far, far away !!!!!!!!! (I think that’s simple to figure out that you’re outwitted and going to get scammed!)

2. Those who make their bed hard will have to turn often. (Ever made one of those choices you have to live with and are constantly reminded of?)

3. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. (Things aren’t always what you think. It’s kind of like praying for patience!)

4. A fool and their money will soon part. (Now, that one’s in the Bible.)

5. If his brain was dynamite, it would not blow a hair off his head. (I hope she never referred to me with that one…I think I might be safe because they say she never uses it to refer to women!)

6. A hard head makes for a soft ass. ( If you don’t listen and act hardheaded when someone tries to warn you, you will feel the consequences of it when it comes back to bite you.)

7. Ain’t got sense enough to pour piss out of a boot with the directions stamped on the side of it. (A funny one aimed at stupidity)

8. If you can’t hear you can feel. (If you didn’t listen when Nanny told you, you’d finally get it when she whipped your butt!)

9. If you lay down with dogs, you’re going to get fleas. (If you hang with the wrong people, you’re going to start acting like them.)

10. If his brains were ink, he wouldn’t have enough to dot an “i”.(Another one about stupidity.)

11. Dumb cluck is a name she calls stupid people.

12. You’re like a bull in a china shop.(Considering Nanny has seven daughters, fourteen grandchildren, and eighteen great-grandchildren, I’m sure she uses this one often when things get a bit on the rambunctious side.)

13. Woooo. They tell you a lie and then show you a picture of it. (She says this about television commercials.)

14. Wish in one hand and poop in the other and see which ones fills up faster. (Her daughters hated when she used that one…it meant they weren’t getting what they asked for!)

15. If that is love, I guess I ain’t never been in love….. (No explanation needed there!)

Through Nanny’s little messages, she says a lot. One only need to ponder a small while on it. I think I can summarize Nanny’s many sayings into one simple message from a very wise woman: Sometimes, life is only as hard as you make it!

Here’s to Nanny, life, and wisdom. Even though I haven’t seen Nanny in many years, I am proud to be able to say we’ve graced one another’s presence.