Something I Have Broken

The topic is something that I have broken.

Just ONE thing? You must be joking!

Gee, there are plates, bowls, and glasses galore.

I’ve even ripped off the closet door!

I have yanked off a pocketbook handle,

And kicked off the heel of my favorite sandal.

I poured cold water in a hot pyrex dish

That ended with four stitches in my wrist.

I shattered my mother-in-law’s toilet tank lid.

Don’t ask me how, but I really did!

I broke my “children of the world” cookie jar

And at least a hundred gadgets in my car.

I cracked a mirror that supposed bad luck

And a gearshift knob in a pickup truck.

There has been jewelry, beads on strings,

Picture frames, pottery, and other things.

I ruined three new tires in one sharp turn,

And chipped a relative’s priceless urn.

I accidentally knocked off a telephone jack

And managed to pull down a towel rack.

I’ve broken diets that would’ve made me fit,

And I’ve broken promises, I’m sad to admit

If it’s glass, machinery, or it opens or shuts -

Keep it away from me, because I’m a klutz!